Trashcan Odorous Jr's Blog

Jennifer's Body (Kusama 2009)

2009-10-16T10:17:00.000-07:00

'Jennifer's Body' was fantastic! I haven't watched the same movie three times in theaters in one week since, "The Descent". It's not scary, it's just a brilliant script (no surprise) from Diablo Cody, and brilliantly performed by Megan Fox and Amanda Seyfried. I expected a simple skin piece given the Megan Fox hype, but she was really funny, and needs to be taken seriously. Visually glorious panoramic shots coupled with a spicy, witty take on pop culture with a strong feminist message. I didn't forget you gore-hounds, either- there's plenty of that here, too. Well done to everyone involved on this project. I look forward to the director's cut and devouring the commentary by Diablo Cody and cast.

MLB 2009 Playoffs

2009-10-14T19:26:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been a hectic summer, with the past few weeks being particularly chaotic. I still managed to come in first place in 3 out of 4 ESPN fantasy baseball leagues. Not bad for my first year. NFBC next year. That being said, here are my 2009 MLB playoff predictions:

ALCS-LAA vs NYY

I'm taking NYY in 7.

NLCS-LAD vs PHI

If you would have asked me a month ago I would have said hands down Philly, but with the recent woes of Brad Lidge, and the upsurge of LA, this series is the easier of the two to predict. LA in 5.

More Scoops...

2009-08-02T08:24:00.000-07:00

Dune

2009-07-14T12:27:00.000-07:00

I love Star Wars, LOTR's, and many of the new superhero films, but I have always maintained that given a blockbuster budget coupled with new advancements in special effects/digital effects, that a cinematic version of 'Dune' could emerge as the greatest sci-fi/fantasy film ever made. My theory will be put to the test in 2010, as Paramount and Peter Berg (Hancock) are teaming up to make a new adaptation of Frank Herbert's classic, 'Dune' novel. David Lynch's 1984 film adaptation was a noble effort, but special effects technology of the time just couldn't accomadate the scope of Herbert's 'Dune'. The difficulty in creating a successful 'Dune' film has always been in the complexity of the plot, and the telepathic/prescient nature of the player's involved. Particularly difficult is the ability to translate on-screen the Bene Gesserit slight hand and eye gestures that comprise their esoteric language with any sense of credibility (I maintain this can simply be done with subtitles during scenes that involve their communications with one another, rather than the voice-overs used by Lynch). The Sci-Fi Channel did a decent job on this series, but budget constraints prevented them from involving the technical and creative talent necessary to translate Herbert's literary brilliance and grandeur on-screen.

My excitement about Peter Berg directing this partly hinges on my anticipation that he will once again team up with visual effects supervisor John Dykstra. Dykstra is responsible for seamlessly grafting the on-set action sequences in 'Hancock' with digital effects. Too often the correlation of actors with cg is an eyesore- not so with Dykstra. He was also the visual effects supervisor for Spider Man (I and II), and 'Inglourious Basterds' (along with a slew of other films, see his profile on IMDB for the full list). In order for this film to be effective it must be at least 2 1/2 hours long, with the full intention of a trilogy. There are just too many plots, schemes, and "plans within plans" to cram into one 'Dune' film.

The perfect storm is brewing for the greatest science fiction story ever told to be translated into one of the greatest science fiction movies (and hopefully trilogies) ever! Eat your heart out George "Toy Boy" Lucas (credit Smith's Clerks II) and Peter Jackson- Dune is on the horizon.

Here are some other blog entries I've written on Dune:

Dune Prequels

Hunters of Dune

Sandworms of Dune

Terminator Salvation (McG 2009)

2009-05-23T09:36:00.000-07:00

This was a decent sci-fi flick that felt like it missed the mark because of all the hype. Mario Kassar's, "Terminator", franchise has been at the forefront of special effects technology in film for the past three decades. The fourth edition had most of what the others had, but didn't do anything in the way of new techniques or groundbreaking effects. That would have been fine, given that 'T2' was light years ahead of special effects techniques, and part of the new wave of 100 million dollar big-action blockbusters, if 'Salvation' would have given more in the way of dramatic performance, or injecting life into the weird notion of a futuristic prequel. Unfortunately, 'Salvation' missed the mark on every scale of measurement, with the exception of chase action sequences. If you love watching apocalyptic resistance fighters dodge bullets, then 'Terminator Salvation' is for you. Shiny things, big fires, and fully automatic rifles with endless ammo, and bullet dodging. At least even in the far-fetched world of, 'Terminator', they didn't fathom incorporating the curved-bullet concept and all of the ridiculous science that goes into that (see, "Wanted"). My bottom line on this film is that it was interesting, until you realized that there would be nothing more to this film than shiny things and Christian Bale on the run. Not a total waste of time, but not highly recommended. You could stand to wait for this one to come out on dvd.

The Switch Pitcher

2009-05-06T10:55:00.000-07:00

Bizarre and amazing. Let's see if this kid develops into a real prospect. I don't know the mlb rules on this (I doubt there is one), but how weird would it be for him to pitch from both sides against the same batter? Talk about giving a guy a bunch of different looks!

A Tribute to Legendary Filmmaker Michael Bay

2009-04-04T16:47:00.001-07:00

Taking the Fantasy Plunge

2009-04-02T19:09:00.001-07:00

I'm officially a geek. Ok, I've been a sci-fi/horror geek for a while, but now I've entered the realm of fantasy baseball. If my geekyness was ever in question, the argument is now settled. I will be spending the MLB season mulling over player notes, crunching the stats, and probably watching the game differently. I'm hoping to balance out being a baseball fan (TX Rangers), and following my fantasy team. I never want to be that guy that roots against his team in the hopes for bettering my fantasy team. I have noticed it has broadened my perspective on the league. In years past I've paid little attention to the National League, but since I'm in a mixed league, those days are over. I think that's a good thing. It will definitely force me to do a better job keeping up with stats, and hopefully that will translate to a more well rounded sports show on BTR. As if anyone cares...here's the Virginia Trashcan OJO's Fantasy Baseball Roster for 2009:

Batters:

C Russel Martin, LAD
1B Justin Morneau, MIN
2B Brian Roberts, BAL
3B Chris Davis, TEX
SS Hanley Ramirez, TB
2B/SS Mark Derosa, CLE
1B/3B Carlos Delgado, NYM
OF Ichiro Suzuki, SEA
OF Josh Hamilton, TEX
OF Adam Dunn, WAS
OF Xavier Nady, NYY
OF Nelson Cruz, TEX
UTIL Carlos Guillen, DET 1B, 3B
Bench Chase Headley, SD OF

Pitchers:

RP Kevin Gregg, ChC
SP James Shields, TB
SP AJ Burnett, NYY
SP Jon Lester, Bos
SP Adam Wainwright, Stl
SP Rich Harden, ChC
SP Gil Meche, KC
SP Hiroki Kiroda, LAD
RP Chad Qualls, ARI
SP Randy Johnson, SF
SP Mark Buerhle, CWS

On ESPN 10 team 5x5 rotisserie. I would greatly appreciate some feedback from some fantasy pros on my first fantasy baseball draft.

The Cutler Trade

2009-04-01T12:12:00.000-07:00

Well, it seems inevitable that Cutler will be traded. This is a huge disappointment. Denver fans- we were so spoiled during the Elway era, and every QB change reinforces this point. The key to any successful team is the QB position, and we are starting all over again; again. Griese, Maddox, Plummer, Cutler, and now, who knows. Cutler's rise to prominence seemed reminescent of Elway. Cutler actually started out his NFL career stronger than Elway, and I felt like we were a few defensive moves away from a Super Bowl appearance. I don't think Cutler realizes how good he had it in Denver. The fans are extremely loyal, and won't jump ship on a guy like they will in Philly, New York, or Dallas (and a number of other cities). I guess it's better to see the whiner in him now than three years from now, but either way it's a major setback for Denver. We won't replace him in a trade. I normally wish exiting Denver players/coaches a warm farewell, this is not the case with Cutler. So long, and I'll leave it at that.

OJ's Sleepy Puppy Pic

2009-03-25T18:41:00.001-07:00

NCAA March Madness 2009

2009-03-19T17:09:00.001-07:00

I know, it's a little late, but I'm only calling one team- University of Utah Runnin' Utes are going to be in the elite 8. Wait, I'll up the ante- Utah wins it all, and while I'm at it, Denver wins Super Bowl in 2010. Now do you see why I don't bet sports? I just can't help calling my teams to win every game, every championship, year-in, year-out. I pray no one every takes my predictions to the bank.

Beauty and the Beast

2009-03-16T17:34:00.000-07:00

GURPS Quote of the Day

2009-03-14T23:19:00.001-07:00

This is a couple weeks old, and I didn't have the pleasure of being there. In the grand tradition of old here on TOJB, here is the GURPS quote of the week:

"I don't like the looks of that tree. Let's kill it!" -leader Steev to the rest of his party

ShevaCon 2009

2009-03-01T16:44:00.000-08:00

Battle Tested R2 Unit
Destruction and Firebird
Jabba's New Flapper Girl
Death Star Love
B. Fett and Co.
SuperBadass...Last American Hero
Get Your Hands Off Her You Damn Dirty Ape
Group Shot

Mercs
Here, Lizard, Lizard, here...
You Will Pay!

R2KT and K8

Edible Ringworld by The Magnificent Cakistadore Carla B.

Clash of Empires

Super Bowl Prediction 2009

2009-01-31T21:55:00.000-08:00

Arizona 27

Pittsburgh 20

Arizona jumps up early. Big Ben makes 3 turnovers trying to come back. Kurt Warner MVP.

Utah's Sweet Victory Over SEC Powerhouse Alabama

2009-01-06T20:10:00.000-08:00

First off, I'm biased. I went to the University of Utah. I'm not going to start ranting about Utah's right to be crowned the AP National Champs. I do have a couple of rants about some of the pre-game coverage, and the lack of respect shown the Utes during that coverage. Hats off to Herbstreet, as he at least gave the Utes a chance. Then there is Barry Switzer. The only thing that would make Utah's victory over 'Bama in the Sugar Bowl sweeter would be to acquire the off-air video of Barry Switzer during the game. Switzer made the pre-game statement that Alabama wouldn't have recruited any of Utah's players out of high school. I don't even dispute the point he was making, it was his smug attitude while he was making those remarks that burned me up. I love how these old school, salty-dog coaches like Switzer and Holtz automatically dismiss schools like Utah, BYU, Boise St., TCU etc just because they aren't a part of NCAA's good 'ole boy system. The amazing thing to me is that Utah and other Mountain West Conference schools, and the Boise States can play with, and sometimes beat SEC, Big 12, and Big 10 schools despite the obvious disadvantages they have in recruiting top tier players. Every conference has it's up years and down years, and if anyone was watching the Mountain West Conference this year (I'm going to assume Switzer never watched a single quarter of MWC football), they would have seen that this year the Mountain West was tougher than a few of the BCS conferences. I believe TCU would have beaten Alabama as well. For crying out loud Wyoming went to Tennessee and beat them! Even the Wyoming win for Utah was no gimme game. I'm not going to say that Utah would have gone undefeated in the SEC, but then, the only team that was undefeated in the SEC was Alabama (as Saban put it, undefeated in a, "real" conference). We all saw what Utah did to Alabama. Utah made Alabama look like they didn't even belong in the same class. I hope the millions of people that watched this Sugar Bowl will realize that the Mountain West is for real. Ask Florida Gators coach Urban Myer (Utah's coach when he went undefeated 3 years ago) if he thinks going undefeated in the Mountain West is an easy feat. We'll see what happens Thursday, but I believe the only team in the country that beats this Utah team is Florida, and that game could go either way. Without a playoff system we will never know. Go Utes!

Mike Shanahan Fired

2008-12-31T12:16:00.000-08:00

I would have loved to end the year with a post about the Broncos' prospects in the playoffs. Instead I am addressing Shanahan's firing, following one of the worst regular season losses by Denver in the last decade. I'm sad to see Mike go. He did so much for Denver, bringing them out of their early to mid-nineties funk under Wade Phillips. I have always admired some of his gutsy offensive playcalling, and the leadership, class, and dignity he brought to the team. He will be missed. All to often firing a coach is an unnecessary hair-trigger response to losing. The Bronco Nation will forever be indebted to the Shanahan era for bringing us our first Super Bowl victory. Sure, it was Elway's team. We could have never won without that crushing defense led by Romanoski, or the Hall of Fame efforts of Davis and Sharpe. But there are many teams out there with marquee talent that don't win Super Bowls (see this year's Cowboys). Shanahan maximized the effectiveness of that Hall of Fame talent to bring two Championships, and a string of playoff appearances. One stat that may justify the need for change in Denver is that Shanahan has only won one playoff game since Elway left. I would have been happy to see Shanahan retire with Denver, but maybe change is needed. I wish him the best in his future endeavors. I can only hope he doesn't coach for another AFC West team. Best wishes, Mike!

How 'Bout Them Runnin' Utes!

2008-11-08T17:02:00.001-08:00

About the only thing I agree with Obama on is the playoff system for NCAA football...maybe he'll nationalize it like everything else!

The Scoop Is In: 1920's Reporter Guy

2008-10-29T17:39:00.000-07:00

Finally a sports journalist with a sense of humor...Scoops "gets it". Enjoy:

Note: Bill B. is the kind of guy you wouldn't piss on if his head was on fire.

Notice how Mack Brown doesn't skip a beat when asked a question in 1920's reporter speak by Scoops...Is Brown showing is age here?

Saw V (Hackl, 2008)

2008-10-23T17:15:00.000-07:00

Saw V is Saw IV. Saw IV is Saw III. Saw III is Saw II. Etcetera, etcetera. By the way, Saw is Saw V. Take every script, change some characters, throw in a plot twist at the end, and you've got Saw VI. It wouldn't be so bad if they went in a completely different direction, I dunno, something good. Now that audiences are desensitized to the torture porn phenomena, film makers are going to either have to up the ante on grotesque, stomach-turning torture (not a direction I recommend), or return to creating fear through ambience and suspense. The Saw franchise was tired after episode III. The only reason they are selling tickets to Saw V is the timing of the release. It's Halloween, and people are craving a scare. So what if they leave dissappointed, they're still leaving with less money in their pocket than when they showed up to the cinema. The film studios win once again. They just crank out a film from the Saw franchise film factory, and the hordes slowly creep in. If the audiences that fill the theatres to see another Saw title were to be filmed, you might get a good trailer for a new zombie flick. Come to think of it, I thought I heard some muffled, moaning cries for, 'brains' on my way into the theatre last night. Creepy.

New to Ink? What Not To Get...

2008-10-08T21:59:00.000-07:00

Thinking of getting a tattoo? If you don't have one already, please read this first!

I have compiled a list of the top five cheesiest tattoos to-date. Nothing says, "sad", like someone showing off that fresh cookie-cutter tat. Most people (myself included) have a tattoo or tattoos that they regret, and ultimately pay to have it covered up. While I'm grateful that I have never sported the following tattoos, I understand that we all make mistakes. If you have one of these, don't take it personal, I'm just trying to help the next generation of collectors.

#1: Arm Bands

Nothing screams narcissistic meat-head like a barbed-wire arm band. It doesn't make you look tough, it makes you look like you've picked up more dumbbells than books.
Examples

#2: Tramp Stamp

Don't feel bad for thinking about getting one, as long as you don't go through with it. Ever see a heap of trash peaking out of a dumpster? Get one of these and that's what people will see when you're wearing one of those trendy 'lil tank tops. Don't worry though, you can't see them snicker from behind.
Examples

#3: Tribal

Unless this is an ancestral tradition, you have no business going with tribal. You're not George Clooney in, "From Dusk 'Till Dawn", no matter how much tribal you go with. For the ultimate expression of lackluster creativity, see the following formula: Tribal + Arm Band = Dull.Examples

#4: Name That Ex

Don't curse the love of your life by putting their name on you! One for the price of two! Tattoo artists love doing these; it's only a matter of time before you're paying them again for a cover-up. Do you really need an example?

#5: Chinese Symbol

Ever see a Chinese person with a single syllable noun written in English on their body? Me neither, so why is it cool for an American that most likely took Spanish as their second language to get a Chinese symbol tattoo? Answer- it's not. Love, Strength, Peace etc, just keep this in mind- most of the time you end up getting the wrong translation. You look at that fresh tattoo in the mirror and see the Chinese symbol for, "Strength". Go to Beijing and a crowd of onlookers gather to gawk at the stupid American that has, "Diarrhea" tattooed on their arm. No matter what Chinese symbol you choose, the final translation is always, "lame".Examples

Note- Thanks to Kate for helping me put this list together!

Creepy Robot, Cyberdyne, and the Prescience of Philip K. Dick

2008-10-07T09:41:00.000-07:00

Cyberdyne Inc

RoboGirl

Philip K. Dick

What?!?

2008-09-25T19:07:00.001-07:00

Denver is Back

2008-09-15T10:18:00.000-07:00

What an amazing finish to a game at home for the Denver Broncos! This is the year. They have been in a Super Bowl every decade since the 70's, and the 2000's won't be any different. Denver wins it all this year!

WMD In Iraq

2008-08-18T14:42:00.001-07:00

OJO Prepares To Charge

2008-08-15T13:35:00.001-07:00

X-Files: I Want To Believe (Carter, 2008)

2008-07-26T13:43:00.000-07:00

I don't even know where to begin. I've been looking forward to this film for months. I was a huge fan of the series, but let me be blunt from the beginning- any one of the weekly episodes (that had both Fox and Scully as characters) was better than this newest addition to the saga. I haven't been this disappointed with entertainment since I was 11 years old and I found out that WWF wrestling wasn't real. Chris Carter was gracious enough to slip in some humor aimed at fans of the series, but honestly, I might have missed some because I was perpetually on the verge of dozing off throughout this flick. Please, someone out there that has seen this movie- tell me what I missed! Tell me that I just don't, "get it", that there was a deeper philosophical aspect of the film that my shallow mind is not able to interpret, tell me that and give me your interpretation, please. What I watched last night was a film about a pedophile that has visions that helped the FBI catch a group of mad-scientists that are detaching heads from hapless victims, and attaching their bodies to a russian-born man. Was this a government conspiracy? No. Was this an alien experiment? No. The whole purpose of the murders was so that a gay man could keep his, "husband" alive for as long as possible. Did Carter envision himself getting an Oscar for making a sci-fi version of, "Brokeback Mountain"? Of all the possible plots that the X-Files vault has to choose from, how in the world did Carter sit down with Spotnitz and say, "wow, this is the direction we need to go- a pedophile priest that challenges skeptical minds to open themselves up to the idea of God and faith". This movie was a jumbled attempt at social commentary, at best. I am dumbfounded. I have a little theory for how poor films get made: everyone involved in the project gets so enamored with the day-to-day grind of the film making process that no one takes the time to step back and question the direction the project is heading. Surely someone involved had to see this bomb coming, but perhaps that someone didn't have the clout or bravado to approach Carter and say something along the lines of, "hey, I've been analyzing what we're putting together here, and I must say it sucks. If our aim is to create a sleeping aid for insomniacs, we might be on to something, but if making an entertaining film for our fans is the goal, then we are terribly off course". Way to go Carter, you've just put the nail in the coffin for the X-Files saga. No way in hell is this film going to bring new fans, and I'm going to predict that this one isn't going to make the studios the kind of money they counted on. Maybe in several years, when people forget how bad this film is, another X-Files will get the green light. If that does happen, I suggest Chris Carter sit on the sidelines and let someone else direct, because what I saw last night was painfully flat.

Quote of the Day

2008-07-19T18:53:00.000-07:00

From Walid Phares' book, 'The Confrontation: Winning the War Against Future Jihad'.

"Ironically, the deepest, broadest socioeconomic root of Jihadism in the Middle East is the rich regimes' practice of depriving their masses of the benefits of the region's enormous wealth; instead of guiding the region toward modernity, they have deliberately pushed it backward. It is not the wealthy West that keeps the Middle East poor, it is the rich segment of the Middle East itself that does so. Instead of offering youngsters education, they have provided indoctrination, raising a generation not of doctors and lawyers but of Jihadists and suicide bombers." pg 31

"A popular theory among some elite critics of the U.S. intervention in Iraq argues that the war was all about direct seizure of oil. In fact, the era of intervening lawlessly and seizing natural resources in other countries- as was the case in the nineteenth century- is over. First, international law forbids it, but more important is the fact that the economy of oil is open. Saddam's and any other regime were selling petroleum at will. The real oil dimension nowadays is that as a result of American and Western companies' deals with oil producing regimes, U.S. policy has been affected and human rights have been abandoned." pg 69

I recommend going to walidphares.com for further reading on the global threat of Jihadism.

Another Day at the Office

2008-07-07T19:27:00.000-07:00

Girl getting double teamed!!

Just another day at the office for Kate and Ryan.

The Strangers (Bertino, 2008)

2008-06-06T07:43:00.000-07:00

This one is a gem. Simple, short, sweet, and creepy as hell. That sums up Bertino's, "The Strangers". This is one of the most down-to-earth horror movies I've seen in a while. No weird, supernatural, schizoid explanations for the terror- just overwhelmingly eery. Strangers plays on our sense of well-being; we are not as safe as we think we are, even in our own home. Bertino uses sound and lighting to create a mood that is unnerving, and continuously speaks to the impending doom that each scene foretells. This film was rare in that it was completely true to the trailer- if you thought the trailer was creepy, then you'll think Strangers is creepy. If you're too cynical to enjoy an old-fashioned horror movie (minus the excessive gore), then you won't enjoy Strangers. Either way, with the trailer what you see is what you get. Bertino doesn't stray from the central theme of the trailer- a couple in a house, being tormented by Strangers. He keeps pace throughout- when it was time to wrap things up, he did so. This one doesn't drag things out like many horror movies, which start out strong, then flicker and die. Finally a horror movie that doesn't play to the cop-out ending! 'Keep it simple stupid'- I wish more directors would stick to that mantra when making horror movies. Highly recommended!

Prom Night (McCormick, 2008)

2008-04-18T20:59:00.000-07:00

I feel the need to explain myself on this one. Kate and I were looking at our options a few days ago. We were deciding what movie we wanted to see (we decided upon Leatherheads, and made a good choice). During our search, we happened upon the, "Prom Night" trailer. We both looked at each other and laughed. Fast-forward to tonight. Kate is at another tattoo studio, working out of town. I'm at the house, reading blogs, listening to talk radio, and going stir crazy. I then realize that my Friday night can either be spent watching movies that I love and own (ie movies I've seen a thousand times), or staring at Odorous Jr. OJO's a cool dog, but he's light on conversation. I start looking at movies and showtimes, and realize I've either seen it, or I know it's going to suck. Those were my options. I narrowed the list of crap movies down to, "88 Minutes", and "Prom Night". My logic went something like, "well, Prom Night is going to suck, but it's a horror film". A bad horror movie is always better to me than a so-so drama/action/adventure/drama-action-adventure-romantic-comedy. It's 9:22pm, and the movie theater is 3o minutes away. I have 28 minutes until I miss the trailers (I am in total fear of missing the trailers because they may be the best part of my movie night). I told OJO to watch the place, and then I jet. I listen to Radio Classics on XM, as they replay a Sherlock Holmes episode from the forties. I arrive in the nick of time. Popcorn, check. Coke, check. Assure myself that there is no error made by the theater employee; popcorn and drink are, in fact, more expensive than the price of admission. Check. The movie experience is already bad, as I realize I have indeed missed the previews. There I sat, watching a bad film that I knew would be bad, but not kicking myself because I knew I had to know, or else I would have wondered all night, thinking, "surely it would have been better to see Prom Night instead of sitting here with OJO". Forty-five minutes in, I'm wondering what I'm missing on XM radio's, Radio Classics. Fifty minutes in, I'm walking out of the theater. I've only walked out of about three movies- Stallone's, "Driven", some flick I can't remember, and "Prom Night". I drove home listening to the sound of wind, hoping to erase from my mind that last hour of my life. I'm now home, with twenty bucks less in my pocket, a couple less gallons in my car, and infinitely more willing to sit and watch a movie with OJO. Why did I tell you all this? Because it only takes one word to sum up, "Prom Night", and I felt like writing more than a word.

Blog Talk Radio

2008-04-18T12:56:00.000-07:00

I have a new hobby. It's blogtalkradio.com. Yet another example of the wonder of the internet. The blog gave ordinary people a platform to voice their stifled opinion. Blog Talk Radio has created a minor leagues of talk radio. Anyone can be a host. I can't wait to see the success stories of people that started out on blogtalkradio, put out a portfolio of their work, and were picked up by a standard radio station. No longer can the average person complain that their voice is not heard; the people have a forum! Life is grand.

The Ruins (Smith, 2008)

2008-04-06T15:47:00.000-07:00

I was impressed with Carter Smith's directorial debut, "The Ruins". The modern American horror film tends to go off into scientific explanations for monsters, zombies, vampires, etc. Smith didn't go down that road. He kept it simple. Four friends and a guide, a Mayan ruin in Mexico, and deadly vines. Basic, and basically horrific! By keeping the plot simple, the audience was able to focus on the unnerving quandary of the four main characters- run from their Mayan temple prison, and be shot, or stay and be invaded by carnivorous vines. I'm a gore and horror veteran, but even I had to turn away in disgust during some scenes (that's not a bad thing). Jonathan Tucker, Jena Malone, Shawn Ashmore, and Laura Ramsey did a great job of engaging the audience with their characters' dilemma. "The Ruins", could have been a campy run-of-the-mill horror flick, but to their credit, the main characters were interesting enough to keep that from happening. Kudos to Jena Malone (Donnie Darko), she was superb, as usual. I highly recommend this film!

jimbob247652

2008-04-05T13:27:00.000-07:00

I often marvel at the phenomenon of the blogosphere. It is no small wonder that, for the first time in human history, hundreds of millions of people have a voice in world affairs. Information is no longer the privilege of a few power players- everyone that has access to a computer (the number of people that fit into that category is growing exponentially) has the opportunity to express their opinions on any subject they choose. In recent history, information was dictated only by the major media outlets, primarily television, print, and radio. That has changed dramatically in the last ten years. Occassionally you will see articles published by the mainstream media decrying the surge of amateur journalists via the internet, particularly the blogs. I don't believe they fear their demise, but rather that they no longer have a monopoly on the dissemination of information. It's not that the mainstream media is irrelevant, but that their audience can now discuss blatant bias. Bias isn't a bad thing, but until recent history bias went unanswered- the other side never got to put in their two cents. The blogosphere is a realm for people of all walks of life to discuss and debate the news of the day in a way that is unprecedented. That is a beautiful thing.

I would like to see the blogs take another step towards legitimacy. I would like to see more people scrap their anonymous handles and post comments in their own name. To put it bluntly- if you aren't willing to put your real name by your opinions then your opinions mean little or nothing. Jimbob247652 may have wonderful things to say, but has abolutely zero credibility. The debate over ideas of our time needs to be done by real people, not anonymous folks that are bold enough to make outlandish statements, but cowardly enough to do so under an anonymous handle. This post isn't directed towards anyone specifically, it's just something that's been on my mind. Unless you are in the witness protection program, what reason do you have to hide your identity? Have the courage to stand by what you write- use your real name. Let's increase the credibility of the collective voice of the blog.

Kate's New Tattoo: Bio-Mech Spinal

2008-03-31T08:43:00.000-07:00

Doomsday (Marshall 2008)

2008-03-30T07:55:00.000-07:00

This is a fun flick for the casual movie-goer. I'm sure critics will hate, "Doomsday", but I had a great time with it. Even though parts of, "Doomsday" come off as cheesy, Marshall's obvious tongue-in-cheek approach to many scenes gave me the impression that the occasional "cheese" scene was purposeful and all in good fun. I haven't seen, "Mad Max" in a long time, but this movie reminded me of a vamped-up version of that (modernized). The plot is simple: a virus in Scotland is dealt with by the UK government by closing off the infected area via a fence. Those infected are left in the area to die; no one in, no one out. The strength of this movie is not in it's plot, but in it's action and humor. Most of the violent scenes are offset with subtle humor.

My favorite aspect of this film was not in the plot, action, or humor. My favorite scenes involved the small role of Viper, played by Lee-Ann Liebenberg. According to my limited research on her (involving a couple quick google searches), she is a model that was featured on FHM in 2005 as their model of the year. Her picture is displayed on this blog entry. Every move she made was dark and sexy. If there was a violent, mature version of a GI-Joe movie, she would play one of Zartan's minions. I'll be paying attention to her career going forward, and will be a slave to the box office in her future features.

Sandworms of Dune by Brian Herbert and Kevin J. Anderson

2008-03-15T17:51:00.000-07:00

The final entry in the Dune sage was a bittersweet experience. I truly enjoyed reading "Sandworms of Dune", but was sad when I read the last page. Even though Herbert and KJA could not match Frank Herbert's style (I didn't expect them to), I think they've done a fantastic job with "Hunters of Dune", and "Sandworms of Dune". If you liked "Hunters of Dune", then you will enjoy the last installment. I preferred 'Sandworms' more because the scope of the plot was tighter than 'Hunters'. The book focuses primarily on the no-ship that Duncan Idaho, Murbella, and the ghola children inhabit as they travel the universe on the run from the tachyon net. I was impressed at how the authors neatly closed up the Dune saga. I expected a lot of loose ends, and that wasn't the case. The original 'Dune' canon, by Frank Herbert has yet to be matched by anyone in the sci-fi community, but I'm pleased that Brian Herbert and KJA put some closure to the saga with "Hunters of Dune", and "Sandworms of Dune".

Change of Pace

2008-02-15T12:35:00.000-08:00

This political race is boring and irritating. Change of pace. Started browsing through Chuck Palahniuk's 'Survivor' last night. I read it a few years ago, but it's always good to browse through an old read. Just scanning pages reminded me of why that book was so inspirational in the first place. Poignant and tight, CP gets to the core of things without bloated prose. The gross excess of honesty in his work made me assess society and my place in it with a brutality that is downright creepy.
Finally started Brian Herbert and Kevin Anderson's, "Sandworms of Dune". I've been meaning to get around to this for a while. So far so good, but I'm not that far into it yet.
Odorous Jr is doing well. I just got an old Dodge pick-up, and he's definetly enjoying the road more from a higher vantage point.
The "Heroes" graphic novel is a good read, with outstanding artwork. The timeline jumps around so much it can be a chore to keep up with, though.

"If you will it, dude, it is no dream". Walter from the Big Lebowski

John "Amnesty" McCain Gets GOP Nod

2008-02-08T23:18:00.000-08:00

It's pretty much official at this point. John "Amnesty" McCain will be getting the GOP nomination. This is a sad time for the Republican party. While not a registered member of the GOP, I have always voted for the Republican candidate on national elections (I have voted Libertarian in a few local races). Regardless of who gets the nomination for the Democrats, voters will have to choose between two liberals in the November general election. I listen to Rush, Boortz, and Ingram on a regular basis. The consensus amongst conservative callers seems to be that, as disgusted as they are with the nomination of McCain, they believe he is better than Clinton/Obama because of his hawkish approach to the war on terror. I cannot forget that McCain approached Kerry in '04 about the possibility of a Kerry/McCain ticket. I cannot forget that McCain co-sponsored a bill that would ultimately give illegal aliens amnesty. I cannot forget that McCain voted against the Bush tax cuts. I cannot forget that McCain opposes free speech in the form of McCain/Feingold. McCain is a liberal democrat with an "R" in front of his name. He is a conservative, like Hilary Clinton is a libertarian. If conservatives vote for McCain this November, they will be telling every moderate/liberal Republican that is considering running for president of the United States of America that they will cast their vote for any Republican, regardless of their stance on conservative issues. This is dangerous. We may never see another conservative get elected if this occurs. The right message conservatives need to send is this- you may get nominated by moderates, independents, and liberals in the primaries, but when it comes down to the general election you will lose because the conservative vote won't be there. Rallying behind McCain just because he is the GOP's nominee is the kind of sheep mentality that McCain strategists are counting on. He has ignored conservative values for the last ten years, worked hard to shore up the moderate/independent vote in the primaries, and now expects that the conservatives will all line up and drink the GOP kool-aid they're being offered up. No thanks, I'll be pissing my vote away on a third party candidate. I might even write-in Mitt Romney. What I won't do is reward the Republican party, John McCain, and the liberal media horse that he rode in on with my vote this November.

Election 2008: Quick Rants

2008-01-15T13:32:00.000-08:00

Media Coverage-

-Have you heard any of the pundits mention that Romney is leading all Republican candidates in delegates for the nomination? I haven't either. The only thing I've heard is that he's finished second in Iowa and New Hampshire (as if second doesn't get any delegates), and they rarely if ever mention Wyoming. The raw numbers say that more people in all of the states that have voted have voted for Romney- hence he has more delegates. The conversation about Romney's bid for the nomination goes like this, "Romney gets two silver medals, meaning he didn't win. His campaign desperately needs to win Michigan". A second in Michigan will still leave this race a dead heat, because the race is for the most delegates, not the most wins in every state. What does it matter if, like Pastor Huckabee, a candidate wins one state, and then gets a distant third, or fourth in the next three states? Consistency wins delegates.

Racism vs Sexism-

-I'm going to assume you follow politics if you're taking the time to read this, so I'm not going to detail every he said, she said aspect of this debate. I can settle this debate by simply defining two terms. Term one: Racism. Racism is the belief in the inherent superiority of one race over another, or one ethnicity over another. Some examples of racism would be making a comment like, "I believe that green people are better than blue people, because the genetic make-up of green people is inherently superior to blue people". A couple of examples of what is not racism, are as follows: "That person wrote in his book that he took drugs when he was younger". "That person's middle name is Hussein".
Sexism. According to dictionary.com, the definition of sexism is: attitudes or behavior based on traditional stereotypes of sexual roles. Talking about someone's stance on the war in Iraq, or opposing someone for the nomination of the Democratic Party's primary election does not constitute sexism. This debate between the Hussein camp and the Clinton camp is simply lame. There is a lot of nay-saying about the other candidates, but not once has anyone crossed the line by saying anything racist or sexist. This is just media hype to sell papers, radio and tv ads.

Aliens vs Predator: Requiem (Strause, 2007)

2007-12-29T17:30:00.000-08:00

Kate and I went to see this big disaster on Christmas Day. While it wasn't awful enough to ruin the holiday for us, it was indeed a major downer. Bad movies have a way of teasing you with a great opening. I liked the panoramic view of the Predator's homeworld, and I thought for sure that there would be some real meat and potatoes to the story-telling in this one. There wasn't. AVP-2 was one big gloomy, rainy, chase-scene. The same old Aliens special effects with a slight twist- the Aliens were an Alien-Predator hybrid. Wow. It didn't work. I truly regretted not having more candy during this one, because once I was out of popcorn there was nothing to do but focus all of my faculties on the big screen.

Best of 2007

2007-12-28T13:20:00.001-08:00

Best Movies of 2007

Eastern Promises
I Am Legend
No Country for Old Men
I Know Who Killed Me
The Simpsons

Have a great New Year!

Black Katie at Totally Naked Tattoos

2007-12-05T18:11:00.000-08:00

This is Kate's dance interpretation of "Black Betty". Enjoy!

Government Waste

2007-11-13T18:10:00.001-08:00

If you like paying taxes, and/or would like to pay more taxes, then don't click on THIS link.

How Do You Take Your Steak?

2007-11-13T17:51:00.000-08:00

You gotta love Phil Hendrie!

Saw and Torture Porn; A Reflection

2007-11-06T12:43:00.000-08:00

Having just watched "Saw IV" a couple weeks ago, I would feel amiss if I didn't put my two cents in about this franchise and the idea of "Torture Porn". Torture porn is the new wave of horror films along the lines of the "Saw" franchise, "Hostel", "House of 1000 Corpses", etc., in which torture, sadism/masochism is the central theme of the films. My feeling on the matter is this: once you've seen one, you've seen them all. If Roth comes out with another, "Hostel", for instance, I won't see it. Just take a glance at my blog, and it won't take long to realize that I'm a huge fan of the horror genre. Torture porn, however, isn't horror. It's not creepy, just disgusting, and at times I find myself checking my moral compass while being "entertained" by these films. I'm not faulting the film industry on this one. It's not surprising or upsetting that the film industry is making these films. Their sole purpose is making money and providing a profitable product. What's sad is the demand for torture porn; a sub-genre that focuses on the pain and torture of women (primarily). I'm not advocating a so-called "solution" to this new rave. I don't believe in censorship. I'm simply reflecting on societies' demand for torture porn. I used to scoff when people like my grandfather would reflect on how people have changed from when they were growing up. I've always (until recently) been of the opinion that people haven't changed; they're just more open about their vices now. He reminisces about the days when you could safely hitchhike from one locale to another without worrying about Rutger Hauer slipping a switchblade against your thigh, telling you to say, "I want to die". While I don't believe that society was full of saints in the past, I do believe our moral sensibility has eroded, and continues to erode with each generation. Torture porn doesn't cause moral erosion, it reflects it. I don't foresee this trend ending (unless something more offensive comes along), but I don't want to contribute to it anymore, either. I would like to see horror return to something that taps into our unconscious fears, creating eerie atmospheres, instead of displaying grotesque torture for tortures' sake.
On the surface I may seem like a hypocrite for liking "Saw", and even "Hostel" (liking, not loving), but I don't believe I am. I like those movies. I'm not sure what that says about me, and others that like them. The point of this blog entry is that I need to spend some time figuring out why I like them, and in the meantime I'm not going to support films like them anymore, because, like I said- once you've seen one, you've seen them all. "Saw" does have a little more than most of the previous horror franchises that had more than one sequel. With each release there is a little more back story revealed about the main character, Jigsaw (Tobin Bell). There is the marriage of horror and vigilante justice, with mystery and intrigue as the bridesmaids. In summary, I won't be handing over my dollar to the torture porn peddlers anymore.

Halloween Pics

2007-11-03T10:40:00.001-07:00

Kaitlyn was a zombie prostitute for Halloween! How cute!

30 Days of Night (Slade, 2007)

2007-10-30T15:59:00.000-07:00

I want to start out with the things I loved about this movie. SPOILER WARNING! The opening shot of the stranger walking knee deep in the snow with the gigantic ship looming ominously in the background was one of the more foreboding screen introductions I've seen in a while. The overhead, wide-angle shot that gives the viewer a growing sense of doom as the vampire mob wreaks havoc on the sleepy Alaskan town, was extremely engrossing. The fact that none of the vampires were rave-hopping, leather-clad adolescents, was a plus. I like that the majority of the vampire cliches were absent from "30 Days..". Unfortunately, the few things I liked about this movie did not offset the sour aftertaste I had in my mouth after leaving the theater. There wasn't anything I hated about "30 Days..". Film quality was excellent, blood, gore, and death were in ample supply (even for a vampire/horror flick). My biggest gripe with this film was the frigid, pointless pace of the film. Besides some casual, off-hand remarks made from one character to or about another character, there was absolutely zero chemistry between the players involved. Slade took no time developing any of the characters. This is one of the major pitfalls that so many horror movies fall into. People start dying, but the audience doesn't care because the characters have little or no story. Most of the noteworthy scenes in this film were in the trailer. Watch the trailer, soak in the highlights of this film, and you will have saved your time and money.

Halloween (Zombie, 2007)

2007-09-20T17:43:00.000-07:00

Zombie's films provoke opinions at the extreme ends of the spectrum. Usually people are either ecstatic at having been a part of the Rob Zombie film experience, or thoroughly turned off by it. What annoys me is when people go into a Zombie film and expect a critically acclaimed film. I don't think Zombie's work is necessarily mind-blowing, but it is different than most of the reel-fodder excreting from the industry right now. While I can appreciate negative takes on "Halloween", articulated nicely by my buddy Joe, I still feel like people that give this film horrible reviews are taking the wrong approach. Unless you were born on Mars, raised on Pluto, and just moved here the day of this films release you should already be aware of what you are getting into. I knew going in what I was getting into- and it wasn't an academy award winning film. It's "Halloween". The original was an above average Carpenter film project that caught peoples attention because of the universal theme of the "boogeyman" and a catchy theme song. The "Halloween" franchise, including Zombie's new take, is for people that love the horror genre, or the casual viewer that just wants a bag of popcorn and a cheap scare. From that perspective Zombie gives viewers an above average movie experience in "Halloween" by giving the franchise an interesting background story while fulfilling their desire for stylish, gory, and horrific murder scenes. Say what you will about Zombie, but at least "House of a 1000 Corpses", "The Devils Rejects", and "Halloween" are fresh approaches to an otherwise stale genre. Eli Roth isn't panning out as the new prophet of horror- someone who will lead the genre into a new age of original concepts and a fresh approach. He comes off to me as a film snob with a horror fetish. Zombie seems to be the "peoples" slasher director. He will never be appreciated by the those that masterbate to "Film Comment", but he delivers what the horror crowd and the general viewer expect when they pay the ungodly ticket prices and popcorn tax- fresh gore, tongue-in-cheek laughs, and a good time. If you expect more than that from a Zombie flick then you will be disappointed every time.

1408 (Hafstrom, 2007)

2007-07-07T10:36:00.000-07:00

You never know how a Stephen King story is going to translate to the big screen. I typically enjoy King's novels, novellas, and short stories, but when his literary work is worked into film you never know what you're going to get. I had no expectations going into this picture. I had only seen a trailer- no reviews, no outside opinions, just a short trailer that made me think there might be something there. Truth is, there is something to this movie, just not much. I like the concept of the cynical "ghost detective" writer (Cusack) just in the biz to make a buck. Jackson's character truly set-up a suspenseful scenario with room 1408 and the history of the "Dolphin Hotel". Twenty-five minutes in, everything was looking great. Forty minutes in, Cusack was scampering around the room during a faint, subtle flux of paranormal intrigue. Forty-one minutes in (I'm estimating, here, by the way) everything falls to pieces. Hafstrom made the decision that he would push the psychological effects of "1408" from light (but highly effective) illusion based camera effects to torrential sea storms (waves and all, literally). Then, just to ensure that there was no mistaking the films over-the-top approach to hotel phantoms, there is a blazing conflagration inside room "1408". It didn't work. I was impressed that the film didn't take the most blatant film-ending copout that has been so hot the last decade or so- the schizoid, this was only a dream/vision ending. It looked like it was headed that way, but thankfully there is actually a decent ending to an otherwise mediocre film. So here's a suggestion, if you ever rent, "1408": watch the beginning, until Cusack has been in the room 1408 for about ten minutes. Then go clean the bathroom, or mow the lawn, or clean your fish-bowl, then try and get back to see the last fifteen minutes. Trust me, you won't have missed anything if you follow this advice, and you can knock-out a movie and a dirty chore at the same time. That's efficiency.

Bug (Friedkin, 2006)

2007-05-28T14:31:00.000-07:00

I consider, "The Exorcist" to be the all-around best horror movie of all time, so you can imagine how excited I was to see another Friedkin horror flick. Not only did this movie not disappoint, but it greatly surpassed my expectations. Ashley Judd and Michael Shannon were absolutely phenomenal! During the first third of the movie I began to reflect on why, "The Exorcist" was such a classic. Set-up. Friedkin actually takes the time to familarize the audience with the characters in such an intimate way that when the shit hits the fan we actually give a damn. "Bug" was no exception. After a series of smooth, quirky, quit-witted verbal exchanges between Agnes (Judd) and Peter (Shannon), we are treated to a lascivious, sweaty, flesh-romp of a sex scene that leads directly into the 'Bug' dilemma. Friedkin nailed the timing of this movie from the beginning, including his brilliant usage of Harry Connick Jr. as the angst-ridden ex-con boyfriend. There are only four main actors in "Bug", each fits right into their role with perfect ease. The gut-wrenching gore really hit the spot after Friedkin's superb character set-up. I'm not suggesting this is the best flick of all time, but it's definately worth the price of admission, and I will be buying this as soon as it is released on DVD. OJO gives this two barks and a couple paws way up!

GURPS Quote of the Week

2007-05-28T14:29:00.000-07:00

Let me hit them with my T-shirt pants!

-Anonymous

Black Christmas (2006)

2007-05-24T16:02:00.000-07:00

I begrudgingly watched this over the weekend, despite the overwhelming number of lackluster reviews and my own disdain for remakes. Being an avid horror/sci-fi fan, however, I feel a sick compulsion to watch everything I can regardless of other peoples opinions. Before I give you my tagline review of Black Christmas (2006), let me preface by saying that I give every horror movie the benefit of the doubt. I love the genre so much that as long as the most basic elements of horror (gore, tna, and storytelling etc) are present then I will consider the movie a success for at least keeping me entertained for 90-120 minutes. So, here goes-

This Movie SUCKS!!

Torn optic nerves, sorority babes, and a jaundiced serial killer sounds great (as far as horror films go), until you put the project in the hands of "Mr. I've made two films and both are shitty remakes ie Willard, Black Christmas" Glen Morgan. Glen, you're career is over. If any executive producer gets drunk or high enough to give you a third chance at making a decent movie that actually makes money, maybe you should consider creating your own art instead of copying other peoples work. Obviously you can't remake a film that is watchable. If you make an original movie then even if it sucks as bad as Willard and Black Christmas, at least you won't have trampled someone elses work, and your failure can be pinned directly on your shoulders without pock-marking someone elses art.

Deadwood Knows Commentary

2007-05-20T11:01:00.000-07:00

The HBO show, "Deadwood" is not a new thing. It started in 2004, and has finished it's third season. What is new, or relatively rare amongst DVD extras is the quality of the director/creator/actor commentaries that are available on various shows within the DVD. They do something in "Deadwood" commentaries that most other DVD productions have been unable to do- commentate. My idea of good commentary is giving the viewer insight into a world that they have only known within the confines of the show itself. Effective commentary allows the viewer to feel as though they are a part of something more than just appreciating the final product- they are actually involved in the process of creating the art. Ian McShane, William Sanderson, and Paula Malcomson are my favorite participants in "Deadwood" commentary. Most actor commentaries are another opportunity to do some good 'ol fashioned Hollywood ass-kissing. I've listened to some commentaries that were more like an actor's appeal to the director or producer to include them in their next project, than actually giving the viewer any insight into the show. The most dreadful example of a director commentary is William Friedkin's dull narration of, "The Exorcist: The Version You've Never Seen". The commentary for this recut should be titled, "The Exorcist: The Commentary That Leaves You Comatose". He simply tells you exactly what you are seeing, scene by scene, moment by mundane moment.

The "Deadwood" commentaries don't follow the same strictures that most other commentaries include. Sure, there is the occasional appreciative nod toward David Milch (creator, lead writer), but they don't supply endless praise offerings to the filmdom monarchs that most commentaries provide. "Deadwood" commentary typically made me feel like I was sitting down with the actors, havin' a brew, and enjoying their take on the process of making each scene, or working with the other actors. Paula Malcomson (Trixie) is a delight to listen to. Malcomson and Ian McShane translate their onscreen chemistry into the commentary soundtrack. If you're like me and are drawn to behind-the-scenes footage and commentaries, then I implore you to treat yourself to the, "Deadwood" DVD extras. If you've never watched a director/actor commentary, then "Deadwood" is the perfect introduction. Prepare to be disappointed when you move from a "Deadwood" commentary to the likes of most film/tv commentaries available- the "others" just don't compare.

This Just In: Two Wrongs Do Make A Right

2007-05-05T15:11:00.000-07:00

I was with a friend at the Rocky Mount DMV (Dept. of Motor Vehicles). While at the information desk, I noticed a sign inviting people to start a career with the DMV. I read the sign with the same zeal one would read a cereal box's nutritional value index. Then I got to a part that chapped my ass. The following quote is word for word, "women, minorities, and persons with disabilities are encouraged to apply". Nice. I guess the government feels it is their responsibility to right the wrongs of the past by using reverse discrimination. I wonder what the reaction would be if a private business were to post a job lising that read something like this,

"Help Wanted: Healthy White Males are encouraged to apply.

Oh, wait, that would be illegal. Only the state and federal government is allowed to discriminate when it comes to employment. It never changes.

OJO is Well and Fine!

2007-04-16T14:48:00.000-07:00

I've been absent for a while (from blogging anyway). Rest assured that OJO and his magnificent insight into all things cool will continue to dazzle and amaze! I finally got Netflix, and will be posting tons of reviews. To Ojo's buddies in Texas and Canada- take care and ride safe. Dude here.

Super Bowl XLI Prediction

2007-02-04T14:21:00.000-08:00

To all three of my loyal fans, I apologize for blogger abandonment. I don't even have a good excuse. Just pure laziness, I guess. It would be a travesty to miss out on making my Super Bowl prediction, considering in the pre-season I called for both teams to be in the Conference championships (albeit on the losing end). This game will be a close one, only because Chicago's running attack will manage to keep the ball out of Peyton's hands (for the first half, anyway). Don't miss the first half, because it will be an exciting show of power defense vs finesse passing. In the second half, however, the Colts attack will prove overwhelming to a fatigued Chicago defense. Final score: Colts 27 Bears 17

OJO's Picks

2006-12-14T15:09:00.000-08:00

Afternoon, team! OJO and I have been enjoying yet another NFL season, but to our dismay, it looks like one of our pre-season picks will end up being a case of wishful thinking. My pre-season picks were Dallas and Chicago playing in the NFC Championship, with Dallas moving on, and Denver and Indie playing in the AFC Championship with Denver moving on. I had Denver beating Dallas in the Super Bowl. I'm still confident about three out of the four picks. Dallas, Chicage, and Indie are all in the mix, granted each has some nasty flaws. I think that's the theme of the league this year. Last year all you heard about was "parity". This year, there are several teams that could go deep in the playoffs, but each team has some glaring weakness that could mean an early exit this year. Indie has that ghastly defense that makes me think ANYONE could rush for a hundred yards against them. Chicago looks fantastic if you happen to look away when Rex Grossman drops back for a pass. Dallas is flashy, makes big plays, but has a time bomb in T.O. and the first time starter Tony Romo (who could start playing like a first time starter any week now). Then there's my team. The Denver Broncos. Nine games into the season, I was looking like a genius. All of my picks were looking good. Denver was 7-2, with a defense that was keeping teams out of the endzone for weeks at a stretch. Then that fell apart. They lost a close one to San Diego, Indie, K.C., and this week it was San Diego again. Shanahan has seceded the season by turning over the reins to Vanderbilt rookie Jay Cutler. I like Cutler; I don't like giving the season away. With Plummer they had a chance. Don't be fooled by the early success of Big Ben the previous two seasons- most QB's have a learning curve before they start fulfilling their potential. I think Shanahan made a statement that he was willing to ride out Cutler's learning curve in the 2006 season, in hopes for a run in 2007. What a selfish move! Doesn't he realize he's ruining my chances for calling the final four in '06, and a possible job opportunity as a Vegas odds maker? This whole thing. Oh well. Here's a sneak preview for my 2007 picks. It's too early to call the other contenders, but I'm going with Cutler and the Denver Broncos as next season's NFL Champs. It looks like the Bolts will be replacing Denver in the AFC Championship game. Of course, if Denver runs the table, makes the playoffs, and wins the Super Bowl then this post is null and void (except the part about winning it all in '07, that's still in effect). Need you get your NFL coverage anywhere else? OJO out.

2006-11-12T17:31:00.000-08:00

I’m sure James Gunn’s “Slither” would have been a rollicking event in a packed movie theater, and I can barely forgive myself that I’m only catching up with the film’s pleasures now on DVD. This is the stuff of B movie legend- a meteor strikes earth, releasing a slimy slug that infects one man (Michael Rooker). He becomes the host and impregnates several others in town, eventually turning loose a bevy of miniature slugs that infects the whole town by crawling into their mouths. The last remaining hope for earth lies in the resistance of the local sheriff (Nathan Fillion, so good in last year’s “Firefly”) a teenage farm girl (Tania Saulnier) and the wife of the host (Elizabeth Banks). It’s clear everyone is having a great time, and director Gunn infuses the film with such a genuine awe for splatterfest filmmaking that it doesn’t feel like an attempt to shock or ridicule the genre (as fellow filmmaker Eli Roth seems to). “Slither” is a great film that harkens back to the psycho-sexual undertones of Cronenberg’s “Shivers”. The reason that films like “Shivers”, “Slither” and “Invasion of the Body Snatchers” work is due to the fact they’re films that rely on our basic need to penetrate (and you can read that anyway you like!). They’re also films that speak on several levels about deception and the prevalent worry of transmittable diseases. While “Slither” is probably less politically minded than the previous 2 films mentioned, it’s still a pretty scary (and gory, and funny) interpretation of being taken over by something.

OJO Calls for the Return of the Cryptkeeper

2006-11-05T16:41:00.000-08:00

Sorry kiddies, OJO and I have been offline for a while. We've been going through our internet withdrawals at our new place. To make the time pass, we've been catching up on forgotten "Tales From the Crypt" episodes. Good stuff. Nothing like sitting in front of the "terrorvision" to pass the time. I've also had more time to dive into an author that I've never really explored, but wanted to. H.P. Lovecraft. As an avid horror fan, I'm ashamed to admit that I had never read any Lovecraft stories/novels. Truly engrossing, vivid, and unique tales from a one-of-a-kind perspective. I've only read one book of short stories and I'm already hooked! Lovecraft and "Tales From the Crypt" are definately "OJO Approved". For all three of OJO's avid blogger fans, don't fret...we'll be back online in a jiff- and back with a vengeance. The Texas Mutthound will return soon! OJO says hi to his buddies in Texas and Canada.

Of Geeks, Snobs, and Critics

2006-09-27T16:18:00.000-07:00

Geeks are cool. They know their stuff- whether it be computers, HAM radios, literature, sports, music, films etc. It's fun to play audience to their verbose diatribes on whatever particular interest/genre they're passionate about. I mean that. I've met people that can tell you everything you didn't know you didn't know about "Star Trek", comics, or the 1968 World Series. Geeks inform without the pervading pretense or condescension that you'll get with snobs. Surround yourself with a few geeks and you'll be the smarter for it, all while having a great time!
Then you got your snobs. These are the folks that equate their ridiculous knowledge of a particular interest with an intelligent quotient. They believe that by rattling off obscure movie titles, directors, or writers that they have something over the "masses". You can spot these folks by their overt disdain and repeated use of the term "mainstream" in the pejorative. I do my best to avoid these types, as their only purpose is to promote their ego. My "bullshit detector" goes haywire around these people, whether in person or in "blogdom".
Finally, there are the critics. The critics are not as fun as the geeks, more genuinely informed on their particular subject than snobs, but most of all they usually get paid to do what they do. I respect critics, but prefer geeks.
Not everyone fits neatly into a particular category, but the discerning factors are evident enough to point you to the right direction along the spectrum if you're paying attention. Unfortunately, not all critics get their due. My buddy Joe should be writing for "Film Comment", or a major publisher, but he is the exception. As the rule goes, geeks know they're geeks, but snobs think they're critics. I fall into that category of knowing a little about a lot, but mostly keep my ears open and get my information from the pros- the geeks and the critics.

The Quotable Death

2006-09-26T08:18:00.000-07:00

I'm not blessed or merciful. I'm just me. I've got a job to do, and I do it. Listen: Even as we're talking, I'm there for old and young, innocent and guilty, those who die together and those who die alone...When the first living thing existed, I was there, waiting. When the last living thing dies, my job will be finished. I'll put the chairs on the tables, turn out the lights and lock the universe behind me when I leave.

The words of Death in "The Sandman" (Dream Country; Facade)written by Neil Gaiman.

GURPS Quote of the Week

2006-09-25T07:19:00.000-07:00

You just knocked an 80 year old man unconscious, but you won't let me give an 8 year old kid a cigarette?

Agent Duncan Jones rants in dismay to Agent Michael Lone Deer after he snatches a cigarette out of a wailing 8 year old (who happens to contain within him the soul of the heretofore mentioned 80 year old man).

Ultraviolet

2006-09-22T18:07:00.000-07:00

I finally took a chance on Ultraviolet starring Milla Jovovich. Milla Jovovich. She is the only reason to watch this film. Unfortunately the only Jovovich skin shots we get are of her torso. Synopsis: great torso; horrible film. Rather than watch the film, I suggest you go to IMDB and look at the photo gallery from this film. It'll only take you a few minutes to see all of Milla Jovovich's babeness- then you can go about your day. This movie made absolutely zero sense. Granted, there was about five minutes worth of action shots that were clean and snazzy. And there was Milla Jovovich. That about sums this film up. Banal to the max. I don't rate movies, but if I did this one would get 1 star out of 5. After all- Milla Jovovich is a star.

I Paid the "Stupid Tax"

2006-09-22T08:52:00.000-07:00

I'm in a convenience store the other day, and see a cool looking card with aliens and UFO's. Of course I knew it wasn't a card, but a lottery scratch off. They've finally made a ticket that will lure in the sci-fi crowd. I proceeded to go the clerk and ask for the ticket called, "Little Green Men". It's a $2 ticket. I went outside with my Red Bull in one hand and "Little Green Men" in the other. I scratched the ticket; of course I didn't win. I felt dirty and stupid. I had just paid the stupid tax. Lottery, beer, and cigarrette taxes are largely aimed at getting back the money refunded to low and middle income earners on their state and federal income tax returns. I don't smoke or drink, but those little green men got me to pay the "Stupid Tax", and hopefully I'll never pay it again.

Jello!

2006-09-19T20:25:00.000-07:00

Anyone who knows me knows that I can be a bit of a food snob. More specifically, I am a dessert snob. I love to bake. I have spent years testing and creating dessert recipes of all kinds. I am picky about my ingredients and I make everything (with the exception of phyllo dough) from scratch. I truly am a dessert snob.

So when I came across this cool looking Jello dessert on a message forum awhile back, I resisted the urge to try it. After all, it was made with Jello! I haven’t actually had a box of Jello in my kitchen for at least 5 years now. But I kept seeing the Jello thread pop back up and it looked so cool. Finally, I could stand it no more!

This past Saturday, I gave in. I went to the closest Kroger store and purchased 16 boxes of jello in various colors. This was enough to make two. I had to make one for friends and one for family. Thus, the great Jello experiment began. It wasn’t a really complicated dessert to make. It was certainly easier than sculpting Jabba the Hutt out of chocolate cake. However, it was almost as time consuming. It took a little over four hours for the entire process.

Of course, the jello needed to be refrigerated overnight. So I had to be patient and understand this was not a dessert for instant gratification. When I was finally able to un-mold it on Sunday afternoon, I was not disappointed! It was definitely a cool looking dessert. But how would it taste? I didn’t have to wait long to find out. I took it to the GURPS game for that night’s dessert and it was a success!

I will admit that I was pleasantly surprised. The combination of all of the different flavors was quite good. I think it helped that every other layer was mixed with vanilla yogurt. The yogurt supplied the slightest amount of tang and helped cut the sweetness of the Jello. So if you’re looking for an easy (although not quick) dessert that also looks impressive, this might be for you.

Quote of the Day

2006-09-19T08:03:00.000-07:00

Desire, listen to me carefully. Remember this. We of the endless are the servants of the living- we are not their masters. We exist because they know, deep in their hearts, that we exist. When the last living thing has left this universe, then our task will be done. And we do not manipulate them, if anything, they manipulate us. We are their toys. Their dolls, if you will. And you- and Despair, and even poor Delirium- should remember that.

King of Dreams (Morpheus) speaking to his sibling Desire. From "The Sandman" written by Neil Gaiman.

OJO Ain't No Sissy

2006-09-18T09:52:00.000-07:00

So it was time to take 'ole OGEE (pronounced oh-jee) to the vet today. He had to get his heartworm, frontline meds, and get his ear checked. FYI: OJO weighed in at a lean 59.1 lbs. The vet tech commented on how strong his legs are; tell us somethin' we don't know! Horses get jealous of how strong OJ's powerful legs are! If they'd let him, he could beat any horse or greyhound in a race- and that's a promise! I digress. This office has seen Odorous before. I know he's embarrassed to admit this, but he gets his toe-nails clipped. Believe me, if he had his way, he wouldn't. When I took him in the backroom to get his ear checked out, the vet tech brought in a muzzle. I asked if he had needed that in the past (I don't go back with him when he gets his nails clipped because he doesn't like me to see him like that). She smiled and said that when OJO gets his nails clipped it takes three people to hold him down! I couldn't help but laugh, the problem was, it was just me and her, and she explained that she would be needing to use a rectal thermometer on Ogee! I've never held down a 300lb gorilla before, but I imagine it would be no different than holding 'ole OJO down while the tech probed him alien style! Poor fella- he had a rectal temp, a blood test (needle), ear swab, and muzzle on today; it's been a rough day for Trashcan Odorous Jr! No need to worry though- OJO's as healthy as a world class pugilist specialist- and stronger too! Just remember- just because OJ'er gets his nails clipped doesn't mean he's soft; OJ ain't no sissy!

GURPS Quote of the Week

2006-09-18T04:32:00.000-07:00

I figured if I shot him in the feet he'd be easier to track.

Agent Duncan Jones explains to Agent Michael Lone Deer why Agent Wu has a bullet hole in each foot.

This week's gaming was very quotable, unfortunately in the midst of all the action I didn't take the time to write them all down. Better luck next week...

House MD Meets X-Files

2006-09-17T07:48:00.000-07:00

If you missed last week's "House", and you're a sci-fi fan, then I really feel sorry for you! You missed out big time! Last week's episode was the most bizarre "House" installment to date (including last year's season finale). A young boy is abducted, anal probed, and dumped in front of his house face down. His parents take him in, and because of the weirdness factor, and combined with the fact that his symptoms are inexplicable- House, MD is called in to save the day. I'm not going to recap the whole story, suffice to say that it's a strange one, and House is on top of his game, as usual.

SPOILER WARNING! SPOILER WARNING! SPOILER WARNING! SPOILER WARNING!

Ok, for those of you that saw this episode, a few points from OJO. I really wanted this one to remain unexplained, perhaps with a follow-up story later on. I feel like this episode would have given them a chance to really set the stage for a monster follow-up episode, along the lines of, "will they figure out the mystery of the anal probed-kid?" You get the idea. It's starting to get to the point where House and crew need to be wrong, or unable to answer every medical conundrum that comes before them. The whole concept of House and team being medically infallible will start to wear thin.
Also, House is slipping right back into addiction. Any thoughts on that?

Vocabulary: One Day At A Time

2006-09-14T07:11:00.000-07:00

English has always been my strongest subject. When I was younger, I used to keep 3 x 5 cards with me whenever I was reading. If I came across a word that I didn't understand I would write it on a card. Then I would look the word up and write the definition on the back of the card. Eventually I had several stacks of homemade flashcards to help me build my vocabulary. In the past few years I've gotten out of that habit. About a week ago I was looking up a word on dictionary.com, and I saw a link for the "Word of the Day". When you sign up for it (which I did), dictionary.com emails you a word a day. The email includes the definition, some information about the origin of the word, and a few examples of how the word can be used in a sentence. It's free (really free, not like freecreditreport.com, which is free, except for the monthly fee they charge you)! If any of you fellow bloggers out there are like me, you have bigger aspirations for writing (novels, essays, short stories, screenplays etc) and are using the blog to "sharpen the saw". I know this will help me beef up the vocab, and maybe it can help you too. Also, National Novel Writing Month is almost upon us, and we'll need all the words we can get to reach that 50,000 word mark in one month!

Quote of the Day

2006-09-13T15:31:00.000-07:00

Ask yourselves, all of you. What power would hell have if those here imprisoned were not able to dream of heaven.

From "Sandman" written by Neil Gaiman

GURPS Quotes of the Week

2006-09-11T12:36:00.000-07:00

We are looking for a man we just pulled out of a hood.

Timecorp Agent Solomon

I got about 5,000 people back home that are willing to jump off a cliff for me, I think I can handle a few rogue agents.

Timecorp Agent Duncan Jones responding to the Mission Leader after his ability to gather information from rogue Timecorp agents is questioned.

I figured if things got too bad I could slip some LSD through your lips

Mission Leader explaining his thoughts to a faceless Duncan Jones.

From now on we gotta start organizing our drugs.

Timecorp Agent Duncan Jones

House is Back!

2006-09-10T06:38:00.000-07:00

I've never been big into tv shows. Oh, I'll watch re-runs of "Seinfeld" and "King of the Hill" if they happen to be on, but I don't plan my evening to catch any particular show. For instance, I love "The Sopranos", but I would just assume wait for the DVD's to come out than plan an evening to make sure I watch the latest episode. Throughout my life there is a short list of tv shows that I have absolutely, with no exceptions (save a death in the family, but even then I would have the show going on in the background at the family gathering) made sure that I was plopped down in front of the tube at the time the show started. The list goes something like this: GI Joe (every morning before school), Duck Tales (in 2nd and 3rd grade this was must-see-tv), "X-Files" (pre-Robert Patrick), and finally "House". That's it. That's not to say I won't catch Monday Night Football, Friday Night Fights, or any random MLB game, but "House" is the only show running that I just cannot miss! Hugh Laurie has the privilege of playing the best written character that you love to hate since, well, ever. The only downside to the show is that House is the show. There's nothing particularly wrong with the other characters, they just aren't integral to the show. Think of it this way: can you imagine "Seinfeld" without Kramer, Elaine, or George? In "House", any one (or all) of the other characters could be gone next week, and I could care less. So long as House has someone to demean, patronize, or show-off to, it doesn't matter to me who that someone is. I'm not suggesting the cast be changed, but maybe the writers could beef up some of the supporting cast with a little more depth. There's so little to criticize, and so much to praise about "House"! Now, if they'll only bring back X-Files with David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson, I would have two shows to watch a week. Is it wrong to dream?

Great Movies Despite the Acting

2006-09-08T05:53:00.000-07:00

I watched Terminator 2 yesterday for the first time in a while. I was reminded of how much I love that movie, despite Edward Furlong and his squeaky whining. There is so much to admire about T2, but there are parts of it that just make me shudder. Mostly the parts where Furlong is given a line longer than 5 words. Like that part in the car when Furlong's character is explaining to the Governator that he should say, "hasta la vista, baby". Shudder. I know that was written in, which leads me to another point: if you're a director of Cameron's caliber, why don't you give less slack (and lines) to actors that can have a detrimental impact on the enjoyment of your film? Imagine how great T2 would have been if Furlong was either: A- not in the movie, or B- given a whole lot less to say and do? I'll go ahead and admit something- I can't stand child actors in sci-fi/horror movies (with rare exception, like Linda Blair), unless they have a limited amount of lines and screen time. I'm sorry, but if you don't have Haley Joel Osment or Abigail Breslin on your cast then don't let the kids act! There, I've said it.

There are other great movies that were almost single handedly ruined by either bad acting or a mis-cast. I'm thinking "Silence of the Lambs", and Jodie Foster. Jodie Foster's great, but she sported the worst southern accent I have ever heard. Her accent grated on my nerves every time she spoke. They should have either dropped the accent or dropped Jodie. That part wasn't for her (didn't she get some award for that, too). Julianne Moore was a much better agent in the sequel. Which accent was worse- Jodie Foster in "Lambs", or Nicolas Cage in "Con Air". Consequently, I still have nightmares about the scene where Cage is yelling over and over in that gut-wrenching drawl, "give me the bunn-nay" (from Con Air). Ugh. How about that brat in Star Wars: Episode One? His "whooping" and Jar-Jar's "aunt Jamima" impression almost ruined a franchise I've loved since I was a tyke.

Conclusion: no more kids in sci-fi/ horror movies unless you run the idea by me, and no more crappy accents. Also, if there is ever to be another Star Wars movie, don't let George Lucas direct it. I know that's ridiculous, considering he owns the franchise, but maybe he has an influential friend or family member that can talk him out of directing ever again. Never again Georgie, not after casting the "brat" and Haydin Christensen.

Bashar Miles Teg: Strategy Lectures

2006-09-07T05:54:00.000-07:00

A mere player should never assume he can influence the rules of a game.

From 'Hunters of Dune' by Brian Herbert and Kevin J. Anderson

Quote of the Day

2006-09-06T10:10:00.000-07:00

It is often easier for us to destroy each other than it is to resolve our differences. Such is the cosmic joke of human nature!
-Mother Commander Murbella, Chapterhouse meeting notes

From Hunters of Dune by Brian Herbert and Kevin J. Anderson

Hunters of Dune by Brian Herbert and Kevin J. Anderson

2006-09-05T05:27:00.000-07:00

I dashed into Barnes & Nobles bright and early on the day after the August 22nd release of Dune 7: Hunters of Dune. I couldn't get home quick enough to tear into the universe of Dune, a universe I fell in love with several years ago. I caught onto Dune over a decade after Frank Herbert had penned 'Chapterhouse Dune', which most believed would be the final entry in a wondrous epoch. I was fortunate enough to be able to read all of the Dune novels straight through- never having to endure an agonizing wait for the next installment. I read the six prequels that Frank Herbert's son (Brian) and Kevin J. Anderson put together between 1999 and 2004. I felt like the prequels were flat compared to the original Frank Herbert canon. In my July, 2006 review of the prequels, I stated, "I liked the prequels, but when it comes to 'Dune', liking just isn't good enough. The standard is too high; BH and KJA didn't live up to the 'Dune' standards in the prequels, and I doubt they will in Dune 7". Fortunately I'm not flexible enough to put my foot in my mouth, so I'll have to eat crow instead! I was way off in my prediction of a mediocre follow-up to "Chaperhouse: Dune"!

The last installment in the Dune canon had such an enigmatic and abrupt ending that I was curious and skeptical as to how BH and KJA were going to credibly re-ignite the series. The good news is that they weren't flying blind- Frank Herbert had extensive notes on Dune 7, and I'm sure this is why 'Hunters' worked so much better than the prequels. 'Chapterhouse' ends with a Duncan Idaho ghola (similar to a clone, but with all of the memories of his previous lives), Sheana (Bene Gesserit Reverend Mother), Scytale (Tleilaxu Master), and several others stealing a no-ship the size of a city from Murbella and the Honored Matre/Bene Gesserit combined faction on 'Chapterhouse'. After their escape, they are captured in a cosmic net by an old man and old woman. Two decades later, we finally have an explanation!

The majority of the story takes place in three milieu's: aboard the no-ship that Duncan and team used in their escape, Chapterhouse (home of the New Sisterhood), and Tleilax. I got the sense that BH and KJA took greater care in both style and content to maintain continuity with original canon. I truly believe that if someone who had never read the dune novels were to pick up and read this series, from Dune to Hunters of Dune, they would not be able to tell that 'Hunters' was written by a different author(s). I know that's a bold statement, but throughout my journey into 'Hunters', it never felt like an imitation of Frank Herbert's work. This is in stark contrast to the prequels. None of the Dune novels matched the first book (Dune) in the series for philosophical grace and sheer literary beauty. That's not to say that the proceeding novels in the canon weren't excellent in their own right, but none of them matched the elegance of style or evoked the same kind of revelatory stir that 'Dune' created. With that in mind, 'Hunters' fit right into the previous five books in the series. A warning, though. 'Hunters of Dune' incorporates many subplots from several of the classic Dune novels, as well as the prequels, particularly the 'Legends of Dune' trilogy. If you haven't read all six of the original dune novels, I highly suggest that you do so before jumping into 'Hunters'. The complexities of the plot will seem overwhelming at best, and utterly incomprehensible at worst. The elder Herbert's characters often cited their plans as, "wheels within wheels" or "plans within plans". Dune 7 weaves a complex tapestry of many wheels within many wheels- a myriad of plans all working toward a grand universal plan that is too complicated to comprehend without a working knowledge of the many storylines that have been told thoughout the epoch. The latest installment to the series was sharp, poignant, and thoroughly enjoyable, but only because I had read all of the Dune canon, plus the 'Prelude to Dune', and 'Legends of Dune' trilogies. Part of the intrigue of the Dune universe is it's commentary on the inner-workings of politics, religion, and the essence of human survival. Complex topics encompassed in a complex story, both beautiful and brutal. This series deserves to be read in it's entirety, and 'Hunters of Dune' necessitates that, at the bare minimum, the entire Dune canon be read before this one can be savored, enjoyed, and appreciated for the great work of science-fiction that it is.

Quote of the Day

2006-09-04T13:00:00.000-07:00

Our motivations are as important as our goals. Use this to understand your enemy. With such knowledge, you can either defeat him or, even better, manipulate him into becoming you ally.
-Bashar Miles Teg, Memoirs of a Battle Commander

From 'Hunters of Dune' by Brian Herbert and Kevin J. Anderson

Quote of the Day

2006-09-02T08:55:00.000-07:00

Superstitions and nonsense from the past should not prevent us from making progress. If we hold ourselves back, we admit that our fears are more powerful than our abilities.

-The Fabricators of IX

From Hunters of Dune by Brian Herbert and Kevin J. Anderson

Quote of the Day

2006-09-01T10:04:00.000-07:00

When one has an obvious need, one has an obvious weakness. Take care when you make a request, for in doing so you reveal your vulnerabilities.

- Khrone,
private communique to his Face Dancer operatives

From 'Hunters of Dune' by Brian Herbert and Kevin J. Anderson

Chronicles of Riddick: Dark Fury

2006-08-28T07:46:00.000-07:00

"Dark Fury" is the animation short that bridges Pitch Black and The Chronicles of Riddick. I saw both "Pitch Black" and 'Chronicles' when they came out, and really loved both for different reasons. These two films are severely underrated amongst the ranks of sci-fi fandom. Anyway. I have this habit of seeing things years after they come out. I guess I like to let the dust settle, or maybe I'm a cinematic procrastinator. I actually feel like I missed out by not seeing 'Dark Fury' before 'Chronicles'. Don't misunderstand me- 'Dark Fury' isn't necessary when it comes to glueing Riddick's tale together. It isn't even technically or visually stimulating. What 'Dark Fury' did for me was dig deeper into the psyche of the main characters of the two films. In "Pitch Black" we got an intimate tour of Riddicks mind and nature. In the first edition of the 'Riddick' epoch, there is a blatant, gaping contrast of imagery and emotion. The scenes are either bathed in blinding white light, or drenched in shadowy black. The contrast of the imagery reflects the dark and light side of Riddick's character.

"Chronicles of Riddick" is more ambitious in scope than "Pitch Black", and the tone morphs from "creature feature" into something quite literally universal in scale. Nestled neatly in-between the two is "Dark Fury". Forget the action scenes, the blood, the sexual undertones- this is a character piece. It has been touted as a bridge to enhance the plot line of "Chronicles of Riddick", but what it did for me was segway deeper into the mind of Riddick. Not only into the mind of Riddick, but into the mind of the universe. Sitting on that throne in the final shot of "Chronicles of Riddick", we don't know if the universe will be headed toward the light or the dark. We've seen Riddick flourish wearing the mask of good and evil, and the epoch ends with the universe hanging in the balance of the fickle whims of a madman and a saint. Riddick is the ultimate allegory for chaos theory.

OJO's Super Bowl Pick: Denver Broncos

2006-08-23T14:41:00.000-07:00

You heard it here first! OJO picks the Denver Broncos to take the Super Bowl this year over the Dallas Cowboys. Final score: Denver 31 Dallas 10.

AFC Championships

Denver 24 Indie 17

NFC Championships

Dallas 35 Chicago 13

Now, OJO doesn't guarantee the scores, but he does guarantee the final winner (Denver). If he is wrong, you will be refunded the total amount you spent reading this post.

Snakes On A Plane

2006-08-20T09:09:00.000-07:00

I made a mistake when I went to see "Snakes On A Plane". I arrived to the theater early. Thirty minutes early, to be exact. That means that I was inundated with lame celebrity quotes, courtesy of EOnline, for an entire thirty minutes. It hurt. The quote that topped the chart on the "cringe factor" was one by brainiac Christina Aguilera, who said, "I think it scares people when they see a woman who is comfortable with herself". I officially crown Christina A. "Diva of Profundity". Wow. Seriously, though, how incredibly dull is that? I have never, in all of my days on this earth, ever thought to myself, "gee, that girl seems comfortable with herself", and then proceeded to shiver with fright. Then there was J Lo's cerebral blurb, "Life is about two things, love and learning". Uh-huh. My life could be narrowed down to only concerning myself with love and learning if I made $20 million to play pretend in front of a camera. There were about a dozen other star quotes. They played them onscreen over, and over, and over again. When I realized I had them memorized, I vowed to never be early to a movie again.

Ok, then, on to the actual flick. I had fun with this movie. I didn't go into "Snakes On A Plane" expecting to see the picture of the year, and, surprise, I didn't. What I did see was a relentless action film that made me jump half a dozen times, made me laugh a little more, and made me tear up when all was well (ok, I lied about that last part). Samuel L. was cool, as always. My favorite character in this one, though, was the famous musician "Three G's", played by Flex Alexander. "Three G's" is a germophobe with a major ego, who is forced to sit in coach because FBI agents (Jackson and company) have taken over first class to transport a witness in a mob trial. If you don't have some degree of 'Snakeophobia' (the textbook term eludes me, and I'm too lazy at this point to look it up), then this movie won't have much of an effect on you. I do suffer from an intense fear of snakes, which is why I spent half of this flick squirming in my seat. The majority of the snakes were real, but many were cg, and it was bad cg. Think bad, like in The Mummy Returns, and you were forced to endure the cg depiction of the Scorpion King. "Snakes On A Plane" is as simple as the title, nothing fancy, but fun. Good stuff.

The Chronicles of Easter

2006-08-15T08:55:00.000-07:00

Forget what you thought you knew about Easter! I had a chance to sit down with french director Jean Jeancois to discuss his upcoming project, 'The Chronicles of Easter'. He reviewed the script with me, and I was fascinated at his ability to forge a dark bizzarro tale of mystery and intrigue, while staying true to the french wild west themes he is known for. 'Easter' takes place in an alternate universe where the american wild west coming-of-age occurs during pre-historic times, in france, during an alien reconaissance of Earth- a recon which will determine the ET's timetable for invasion. While the plot is daring, grandiose, and extremely ambitious, Jeancoise was careful not to allow the gargantuan task of large-scale plot arrangements to get in the way of intense character development. He describes his main character, 'Easter', as a self-loathing, toe-nail biting, con-artist, that is constantly searching for purpose within his tribe of hunter-gatherer, outlaw, french bandits. During a solo forage near a pond, he runs into a Velociraptor named Tito. Tito convinces him, through telepathy, to join him on a quest to Egypt. Tito has been summoned by the Dino-God 'Dillibedido' to journey to the innards of Egypt- he has no idea why. Upon arriving in Egypt, Tito and Easter come up on a massive construction project run by gray, almond-eyed aliens- they are building something feline-like in the middle of the desert. Tito knows it is a sign from Dellibedido- they must now form a band of Raptor-riding frenchman to take on these strange aggressors from outer-space.
Unfortunately, that is all I am allowed to reveal about this story because it is still in pre-production, and I assured Jean Jeancois that I would not reveal too much about this groundbreaking french epoch! Much thanks to Jeancois for letting me in on this gem, and I look forward to frequent updates on this project!

A Long Way Down

2006-08-11T22:26:00.000-07:00

I’ll admit it. I imagine I’m one of about ten people who hasn’t seen Neil Marshall’s previous horror flick, “Dog Soldiers”. Based on the intense amount of composure and precision that director Marshall shows with “The Descent”, I intend to correct that oversight very soon. Simply put, “The Descent” is one of the more enjoyable times I’ve had at the movies this year- if by enjoyable you correlate tension, anxiety, and the enveloping fear that everything presented on the screen will continue to haunt and disturb for days. This is an extremely well made film that charts the voyage of six adventurous women on a cave exploring weekend. Once there, they find they’re not alone in the caves. Yet, as preposterous and cliché as this basic formula sounds, Marshall manages to avoid the pitfalls that accompany a lot of horror films. Several of the women are given dynamic backgrounds and, for more intuitive viewers, they’ll pick up on a devious little perversion that invades during the opening minutes and sustains a level of underlying questions between 2 of the women throughout the rest of the film. This is the kind of horror film I prefer… a film that allows the viewer to be immersed in the darkness, the claustrophobia and the disorientation right along with its characters. In films like “The Grudge” and “The Eye”, the energy of the scares is in the corners of the frame, constantly keeping the viewer wondering where the terror may arise from next. Marshall inventively lights over 80% of the film with the only illumination the women have on them- helmet lights, flares, fluorescent sticks and the night vision of a camcorder. There’s nothing worse than being in a movie theater and having to discern the dark images for yourself. No easy way out here. His unnerving sense of timing, as well, once the ‘things’ arrive on screen also speaks volumes about the director’s patience as a storyteller and a provocateur. And, to add depth to an already interesting little movie, I urge everyone to check out

this

. Apparently, the version playing here in the States is an abridged version from that released in the U.K, cut by the hands of director Marshall himself. I prefer the British ending more, only because I think this is the intended revelation that the film naturally builds to (especially since there are several ‘cutaway’ scenes throughout “The Descent” that are never explained in the American version.) And what’s even more interesting is the discussion that “The Descent” opens up upon watching (and interpreting) the British ending. Whether this was an artistic choice or the decision to possibly “dumb down” the American version, it’s heroic that a horror film has the chops to open itself up to so many interesting deviations.

Breaking News: OJO Calls for Heat This Summer

2006-08-07T05:03:00.000-07:00

That's right! You read it here first- OJO calls for heat the rest of this summer! Amazing isn't it? Now you won't have to watch your local news channel to know it is hot outside. You won't need to rush outside every morning to check the temperature forecast! If you want to know a little insider meteorological information, here goes: it's hot every summer! Say it ain't so, OJO! Every summer from June through August (and even into September), it's hot. I don't have to read the newspaper to tell me that. I don't even have to watch the news to know that if I'm going to be outside for an extended period of time in extreme temperatures I should drink more water than normal. Does that make me a genius, or the media asinine? While I would love to believe the former- well, you get it. I've been wondering why the media spends so much effort telling the masses that it's hot in the summer. Then it clicked. Effort is the key word. It takes absolutely zero effort on the part of a journalist to whip out a story about heat in the summer. Educators aren't the only ones that get to take a summer break.

Since I'm feeling a little like Nostradamus right now, let me make another prediction. This winter, get ready- it will snow. There will be several blizzards in several cities. People will be shoveling that snow, but don't take my word for it- there will be plenty of news coverage on that one too.

Now, let's jump back to the present (does that make any sense at all?). Of course we all know why the media beats us over the head with the heat news everyday- it's global warming. Fine, but the news isn't about global warming. It's about old lady Johnson that had a heat stroke because she forgot to drink water- even though every summer for the last 85 years it's been hot. I'm not going to get into the global warming debate because even the doom-and-gloomers still admit that the temperature has only risen one degree in the last one hundred years. I guess the media would have us believe this conversation one hundred years ago in JoeVille USA:

The day is July 25, 1906. Bob and Bill are talking in their yard. The temperature is ninety-seven degrees. Bob says, "Gee Bill, it sure does feel right nice out here, dudn't it?"
To which, Bill replies, "Mighty nice indeed, neighbor".

Now, fast forward to July 25, 2006. Bob III and Bill III are talking in their yard. The temperature is ninety-EIGHT degrees. Bob III says, "Can you believe this heat! It's unthinkable that it would be this hot in the middle of summer! I don't know if I can take it! Should I drink more water"?
To which Bill III replies, "This is absolutely unbearable heat! Al Gore got it right, again! First he invents the internet, then he's dead-on about global warming! As far as the water drinking, you should probably read the newspaper first".

This whole thing.

Trashcan Odorous Jr's 'Laughs on Call'

2006-08-06T08:21:00.000-07:00

I love movies. I love vampires (the pre-rave vampyres), werewolves, ZOMBIES, and all that is blood and guts- but there is another side of film I love, too. The timeless comedy. For me, there are a few movies that I can re-visit over, and over, and over, and over again. There was a year and a half stretch that I watched the 'Big Lebowski' every single day. No matter how much effort I put into explaining the brilliance of nuance that the Coen brother's captured in that film, if you don't get- you don't get it. Does watching Monty Python's verbose peasant (Dennis), ever get old (pun intended)? Never. Neither does watching the fireworks of 'Tim the Enchanter' be conjured up "without flint nor tinder"? I remember the summer of my junior year in high school when I discovered 'Young Frankenstein'. It doesn't matter that I've seen that movie at least a hundred times-it makes me laugh every time, every scene. Over and over again. That is the magic of film. A group of people got together and made a movie that will make people laugh on call for the rest of their lives! Here is the Trashcan Odorous Jr. list of 'Laughs on Call':

1: The Big Lebowski (aka The Grand Lebowski, or Mr. Marijuana)
2: Young Frankenstein (that's Frahn-ken-shteen)
3: Monty Python and the Holy Grail..."are you suggesting coconuts migrate"?
4: Super Troopers
5: Napoleon Dynamite..."I see you're drinking 1%, is that 'cause you think you're fat, 'cause you're not. You could be drinking whole milk if you wanted to".
6: Team America: World Police... " Pearl Harbor sucked just a little bit more than I miss you "
7: Army of Darkness..."Groovy"
8: Caddyshack
9: Airplane
10: The Naked Gun
Hurry, go pop-in one of these classics right meow!

Nightwatch (Nochnoy Dozor)

2006-07-28T16:40:00.000-07:00

I pulled this one off of the shelf at Movie Starz Video and was not dissapointed with the selection at all! When I first started the movie, something wasn't right. I knew this was a russian film, but it was obviously dubbed. Now, I hate watching dubbed movies. In fact, in most instances I simply refuse to watch a dubbed movie. People that prefer dubbed flicks are the same people that smother a perfectly good steak with A1 sauce. Ok, so once I figured out that the russian version with english subtitles was on the reverse side of the DVD, everthing was gravy. This is one of the more bizarre movies I've seen in recent years. The storyline isn't much different than a lot of vampire films out there: a centuries long battle between light and dark-side 'Others' (vampires, shapeshifters, etc) has been raging. There is a truce that has been going on for the last few centuries. It is prophesied that one will come along that will shift the balance, destroy the truce, and take out the other side. Whichever side the powerful 'Other' chooses (according to the prophesy), that side will be triumphant. The beauty of 'Nightwatch' is not in the story, but how it unfolds. The gore was superb- grotesque, believable and without a hint of cg (rare for horror these days). I was very impressed with one particular scene in which a shapeshifter transforms from an owl into a nubile young woman. It was brutal, raw, painful and uncomfortable to watch. The transformation was reminescent of the werewolf change-over from 'An American Werewolf in London', while utilizing modern-day effects. 'Nightwatch' tugs from several emotional angles including friendship, romance (between vampire and human), and paternal/maternal bonds, while putting on display the difficult choices that confront our conscience in the eternal battle between good and evil (light and dark). There is also a nice climactic plot twist. Excellent film- two paws way up!

Kings Dominion

2006-07-27T12:29:00.000-07:00

I just got back from a trip to King's Dominion with my aunt Sandra and two cousins (Erin and Maegan). We had a great time! Hypersonic was my favorite ride, even though it only lasted 3.5 seconds! Rather than describe the ride myself, I'll just do the 'ole copy and paste from Paramount's Kings Dominion website:

"HyperSonic XLC is the only compressed-air launch coaster in the United States. Unique acceleration, zero gravity airtime and free-fall sensations combine to make HyperSonic an incredible coaster experience. Pneumatic tires and specially designed shock absorbers provide an unbelievably smooth ride that must be experienced."

What the description doesn't say is that at least half of the people in each eight-person car comes off the ride looking nauseous and dazed. My other favorite ride was the 'Volcano'.

The Kings Dominion description of 'Volcano' is as follows:

"It's the only coaster in the world to shoot you straight out of a raging volcano! Suspended from a steel track, you'll fly in and out of the rumbling mountain at speeds over 70 mph, then rocket 155 feet out of the top of the crater into a series of heart stopping inversions before a final 80-foot plummet. This is one of the world's fastest suspended coasters!"

Good times! The highlight of the trip had nothing to do with the rides- it was watching Erin stuff pieces of cotton candy into Maegan's mouth while she was sleeping in the backseat (on the ride home). Sweet dreams Maegan!

OJO: Cool as Ice

2006-07-25T11:59:00.000-07:00

GURPS Quote of the Week

2006-07-24T08:01:00.000-07:00

Captain Henriksen explains to Agent Duncan Jones in his posh British accent , "it would be frowned upon to be seen smoking marijuana while on duty". (Stashing the joint) Duncan Jones replies, "That's fine- I don't want to offend". Nodding to Rochi, he continues, "I'll just take a couple of those shots".

Undead

2006-07-22T05:18:00.000-07:00

Imagine Bruce Campbell with a beard and overalls in 'Pleasantville', taking on zombie's as part of an alien invasion- aussie style! That's what you get with the Spierig brother's 'Undead'. This movie is just plain cool. Now, before I get any nasty remarks concerning my comparison of Mungo Mckay to Bruce, let me just cover my tracks and point out that I use the comparison loosely. When 'Undead' opens, it feels a little goofy. The campy feel is lost, however, with the introduction of the zombies (which were the after-effects of a meteor shower, naturally). When Mungo Mckay's character (Marion) gets into the fray, this movie shifts into hyper-cool mode. Marion is perfectly fit for the alien/zombie invasion scenario for three reasons. 1: He's got his own weapons business (Marions World of Weapons). This comes in handy when legions of brain-eaters are knocking down your door. 2: He's a badass with his weapons. 3: He's a wellspring of witty one-liners. I can't say enough about how cool Mckay was in this movie. His character wreaks major havoc on zombie skull! There's enough intestinal spillage and brain splattering to make George Romero proud.

What I like most about 'Undead' was it's unorthodox approach to the zombie film. Zombie films have a small group of people from different demographics that band together to stay alive. That group of people finds a safe haven- lock and load, kick some ass, then realize they have to leave their fortress and relocate (usually under the guise of 'finding help'). You get close to the characters- then one by one they get infected with zombie juice and end up craving gray matter instead of pizza. Ok, that's the typical zombie flick; 'Undead' had that- but there was so much more. The comic relief was fun without bursting the horror core of the film. Where this movie seperated from the zombie mold was it's bizarre affiliation with an alien takeover. The alien aspect of the film was purposefully vague without feeling like a cop-out. The duel layer approach reminded me of 'From Dusk 'Till Dawn'. The first half of 'Undead' mimicked the stereotypical zombie storyline, albeit executed better than most of the other brain-eater flicks. The second half is where you begin to realize that you truly don't know what's going to happen. It's very rare that you can find a horror movie- especially a zombie movie- that doesn't spell out the ending thirty minutes into the action. 'Undead' meanders, then leaps away from the norm halfway through, and never looks back! I get excited when I see something different. So many producers and directors piggy-back previous successes with remakes and pseudo-remakes that it's nice to just see something totally off the wall strange. I had a really good time with this one! OJO gives it two paws way up!

This Is, Uh, Sort Of, Uh, A Blog

2006-07-21T04:44:00.000-07:00

Newsflash: In order to be considered a worthy member of the 'art' elite, you must use the term "sort of" whenever describing your work. You must also preface every "sort of" with an "uh" or "umm" (this denotes your expertise in the field of expression). It also helps to attach "esque" at the end of the artist or paradigm to which your work is "sort of" related to. One may also interject "kind of", but only after a "sort of". To convey the ultimate impression of one's superior eye for art and the critical review of your own or someone else's work, a combination of the two should be used in the same sentence, but only if there is an "uh", or "umm" acting as a buffer between "sort of" and "kind of".

If this 'Newsflash' doesn't resonate with you, it's because you haven't subjected yourself to enough actor/director interviews, or listened to enough director commentaries. Seriously, take the OJO challenge- the next time you listen to an actor or director interview, or watch a DVD director commentary, and that actor or director can go an entire 10 minutes without using the terms previously mentioned then I'll give you double the money you just spent reading this post.

Frankenstein (Nispel, 2004)

2006-07-17T08:31:00.000-07:00

I was inspired by 'Superman Returns' to see another movie with Goddess Parker Posey. I rented 'Frankenstein', despite having read several awful reviews of the film. I was pleasantly surprised. Victor Helios (Thomas Kretschmann) is a 200 year old mad scientist. He is the surgeon that the 'Frankenstein' myth is based upon. The story follows Helios' first creation, Deucalion (Vincent Perez), on his quest to destroy his creator. Detective Carson O'Connor (Parker Posey) and Detective Michael Sloane (Adam Goldberg) are investigating a serial killer who is cutting out various organs of his victims. Eventually, the detectives form a tentative partnership with Deucalion when it appears that Helios, or one of his creations, is behind the mysterious murders.

I thought the acting was superb, in fact, without Posey, Goldberg, and Michael Madsen's performance, this movie would have seemed cheap. It could have been a disaster, along the lines of a low-budget TV cousin of 'The Island of Dr. Moreau'. Nispel kept the plot tight and focused, allowing the actors to stay on course. This film could have meandered into global domination by Helios and his monsters- instead the story only suggested that Helios was capable of creating enough monsters to do this, and left it at that. That probably saved this film. I'm not suggesting that Frankenstein was great- but it maintains a fresh perspective on a popular horror legend, without trying to overshadow that legend. If you're a fan of horror this deserves a view, but don't expect it to blow you away.

GURPS Quote of the Week

2006-07-17T08:24:00.000-07:00

TimeCorp Agent Eleana Harris rants hysterically, "No! I'm second in charge! We should relieve him of command! He's being irrational because he won't let you shoot me!"

and...

TimeCorp Agent Clint Bradshaw matter-of-factly states, "Fine. We'll try your group meditation, and if that doesn't work, we start settin' fires."

Superman Returns

2006-07-15T16:07:00.000-07:00

I saw 'Superman Returns' today with my little cousin. I don't really feel like doing a full review. Truthfully, I don't feel like I could give an encompassing review of the film because I never read the comics. When it comes to movie reviews involving comic adaptations the reviewer should know some background of the story. I didn't start reading comics until Vertigo's 'The Preacher' and 'Sandman', so supes is out of my realm. That being said, I had a really good time with this movie. Kevin Spacey was an outstanding villain! There was an amusing chemistry between Spacey and Posey's characters. Don't get me started on Parker Posey- she is one of only two actresses that I find absolutely-beyond-anything-I've-ever-seen-or-heard-of-gorgeous (the other being Fairuza Balk). Anyway, great movie, highly recommended.

Dune Prequels by Brian Herbert and Kevin J. Anderson

2006-07-13T05:37:00.000-07:00

The Dune prequels consist of two trilogies- 'Prelude to Dune' and 'Legends of Dune'. The books in the 'Prelude to Dune' trilogy are 'House Atreides', 'House Harkonnen', and 'House Corrino'. The books in the 'Legends of Dune' trilogy are 'The Butlerian Jihad', 'Machine Crusades', and 'The Battle of Corrin'. I just got around to finishing the set of prequels by reading the last installment (Battle of Corrin). I consider the original 'Dune' canon by Frank Herbert (Dune, Dune: Messiah, Children of Dune, God Emperor of Dune, Heretics of Dune, and Chapterhouse Dune) to be the best science fiction books ever. The Dune prequels don't read like classics- they read more like depictions of chronological events. Herbert's 'Dune' incorporated elements of philosophy, religion, sociology, and the art-of-war with surreal grace and elegance. The prequels feel stale and flat compared to the original canon. I'm not faulting Brian Herbert and KJA, so much as lamenting the fact that the late Herbert Sr. could not have written the prequels and finished the series himself. Being an avid 'Dune' fan, I soaked up every page of the prequels despite the fact that I recognized early on that they did not evoke the same intimacy with the 'Dune' universe. It is a testament to the allure of the worlds Herbert Sr. created that reading just the outlines of any addition to his 'Dune' universe is more enjoyable than most other sci-fi books out there. That is really how I viewed the prequels- outlines. The prequels read more like outlines with filler than a finished product when compared to the 'Dune' canon. The main element of the prequels that I enjoyed was that BH and KJA were filling in the gaps to the original story. It now gives more meaning to the 'Dune' passages about the 'Dune' societies' abhorrence for computers i.e. 'thinking machines', or any likeness thereof. The prequels succeeded in feeding the addiction that many fans (myself included) have for the 'Dune' universe. Where they failed is in their lack of character development. The prequels don't evoke nearly enough empathy and emotion for the characters that the canon does. Of all of the prequels, the only characters that had a similar appeal to the 'Dune' characters were Serena Butler and Erasmus. I especially liked Erasmus. He is the 'Dune' equivolent to Star Trek's DATA- only diabolical, sinister, cruel, and downright evil. I liked some of the other characters, but didn't love them. Some of the characters I liked were 'Selim Wormrider', Vorian Atreides, and Norma Cenva. Unfortunately, BH and KJA just don't give these characters the flare they deserve. In conclusion- I liked the prequels, but when it comes to 'Dune', liking just isn't good enough. The standard is too high; BH and KJA didn't live up to the 'Dune' standards in the prequels, and I doubt they will in Dune 7 (Hunters of Dune, August 22, 2006). That being said, I love 'Dune' so much I'll still be at Barnes and Nobles bright and early August 22 to get my 'Dune' fix.

The Hills Have Eyes (Remake)

2006-07-12T02:24:00.000-07:00

Let me start by reiterating my loathing for Hollywood's obsession with remakes. I refuse to spend money on any more junk remakes, which is why I haven't seen this movie until tonight. My aunt had a burned copy of 'The Hills Have Eyes', and I thought I might as well get it over with and see it. It definately lived down to my expectations. There is nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing redeemable about this picture. The only thing worth seeing is the footage of atomic explosions during the opening credits. It's not that the acting or dialogue was bad, it's just that the poor actors had nothing to work with. The plot was scattered and lacked purpose. Wes Craven has only made three good movies in his entire career- Last House on the Left, A Nightmare on Elm Street, and The Hills Have Eyes. It's too bad that one of them has been marred because of it's affiliation with this poorly executed remake. The hills may have eyes, but I suggest using your eyes to watch anything other than this flick.

'ATTABOY OJO

2006-07-10T07:51:00.000-07:00

The Texas Rangers contacted me recently about a possible tryout for one of their farm teams. They've been scouting 'ole OJO, and like his range and agility at the shortstop position. There are some minor concerns about his arm strength. After seeing the way he hits, and the speed at which he rounds the bags, they said the Ranger's organization would be crazy to pass him up. Within three years we could be looking at a strong back-up to Michael Young, as well as an infield utility 'man'. Attaboy OJO, that'a kid!