Wednesday, October 29, 2008

The Scoop Is In: 1920's Reporter Guy

Finally a sports journalist with a sense of humor...Scoops "gets it". Enjoy:

Note: Bill B. is the kind of guy you wouldn't piss on if his head was on fire.

Notice how Mack Brown doesn't skip a beat when asked a question in 1920's reporter speak by Scoops...Is Brown showing is age here?

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Saw V (Hackl, 2008)

Saw V is Saw IV. Saw IV is Saw III. Saw III is Saw II. Etcetera, etcetera. By the way, Saw is Saw V. Take every script, change some characters, throw in a plot twist at the end, and you've got Saw VI. It wouldn't be so bad if they went in a completely different direction, I dunno, something good. Now that audiences are desensitized to the torture porn phenomena, film makers are going to either have to up the ante on grotesque, stomach-turning torture (not a direction I recommend), or return to creating fear through ambience and suspense. The Saw franchise was tired after episode III. The only reason they are selling tickets to Saw V is the timing of the release. It's Halloween, and people are craving a scare. So what if they leave dissappointed, they're still leaving with less money in their pocket than when they showed up to the cinema. The film studios win once again. They just crank out a film from the Saw franchise film factory, and the hordes slowly creep in. If the audiences that fill the theatres to see another Saw title were to be filmed, you might get a good trailer for a new zombie flick. Come to think of it, I thought I heard some muffled, moaning cries for, 'brains' on my way into the theatre last night. Creepy.

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

New to Ink? What Not To Get...

Thinking of getting a tattoo? If you don't have one already, please read this first!

I have compiled a list of the top five cheesiest tattoos to-date. Nothing says, "sad", like someone showing off that fresh cookie-cutter tat. Most people (myself included) have a tattoo or tattoos that they regret, and ultimately pay to have it covered up. While I'm grateful that I have never sported the following tattoos, I understand that we all make mistakes. If you have one of these, don't take it personal, I'm just trying to help the next generation of collectors.

#1: Arm Bands

Nothing screams narcissistic meat-head like a barbed-wire arm band. It doesn't make you look tough, it makes you look like you've picked up more dumbbells than books.

#2: Tramp Stamp

Don't feel bad for thinking about getting one, as long as you don't go through with it. Ever see a heap of trash peaking out of a dumpster? Get one of these and that's what people will see when you're wearing one of those trendy 'lil tank tops. Don't worry though, you can't see them snicker from behind.

#3: Tribal

Unless this is an ancestral tradition, you have no business going with tribal. You're not George Clooney in, "From Dusk 'Till Dawn", no matter how much tribal you go with. For the ultimate expression of lackluster creativity, see the following formula: Tribal + Arm Band = Dull.Examples

#4: Name That Ex

Don't curse the love of your life by putting their name on you! One for the price of two! Tattoo artists love doing these; it's only a matter of time before you're paying them again for a cover-up. Do you really need an example?

#5: Chinese Symbol

Ever see a Chinese person with a single syllable noun written in English on their body? Me neither, so why is it cool for an American that most likely took Spanish as their second language to get a Chinese symbol tattoo? Answer- it's not. Love, Strength, Peace etc, just keep this in mind- most of the time you end up getting the wrong translation. You look at that fresh tattoo in the mirror and see the Chinese symbol for, "Strength". Go to Beijing and a crowd of onlookers gather to gawk at the stupid American that has, "Diarrhea" tattooed on their arm. No matter what Chinese symbol you choose, the final translation is always, "lame".Examples

Note- Thanks to Kate for helping me put this list together!

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Creepy Robot, Cyberdyne, and the Prescience of Philip K. Dick