Friday, July 28, 2006
Thursday, July 27, 2006
I just got back from a trip to King's Dominion with my aunt Sandra and two cousins (Erin and Maegan). We had a great time! Hypersonic was my favorite ride, even though it only lasted 3.5 seconds! Rather than describe the ride myself, I'll just do the 'ole copy and paste from Paramount's Kings Dominion website:
"HyperSonic XLC is the only compressed-air launch coaster in the United States. Unique acceleration, zero gravity airtime and free-fall sensations combine to make HyperSonic an incredible coaster experience. Pneumatic tires and specially designed shock absorbers provide an unbelievably smooth ride that must be experienced."
What the description doesn't say is that at least half of the people in each eight-person car comes off the ride looking nauseous and dazed. My other favorite ride was the 'Volcano'.
The Kings Dominion description of 'Volcano' is as follows:
"It's the only coaster in the world to shoot you straight out of a raging volcano! Suspended from a steel track, you'll fly in and out of the rumbling mountain at speeds over 70 mph, then rocket 155 feet out of the top of the crater into a series of heart stopping inversions before a final 80-foot plummet. This is one of the world's fastest suspended coasters!"
Good times! The highlight of the trip had nothing to do with the rides- it was watching Erin stuff pieces of cotton candy into Maegan's mouth while she was sleeping in the backseat (on the ride home). Sweet dreams Maegan!
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Monday, July 24, 2006
GURPS Quote of the Week
Saturday, July 22, 2006
Imagine Bruce Campbell with a beard and overalls in 'Pleasantville', taking on zombie's as part of an alien invasion- aussie style! That's what you get with the Spierig brother's 'Undead'. This movie is just plain cool. Now, before I get any nasty remarks concerning my comparison of Mungo Mckay to Bruce, let me just cover my tracks and point out that I use the comparison loosely. When 'Undead' opens, it feels a little goofy. The campy feel is lost, however, with the introduction of the zombies (which were the after-effects of a meteor shower, naturally). When Mungo Mckay's character (Marion) gets into the fray, this movie shifts into hyper-cool mode. Marion is perfectly fit for the alien/zombie invasion scenario for three reasons. 1: He's got his own weapons business (Marions World of Weapons). This comes in handy when legions of brain-eaters are knocking down your door. 2: He's a badass with his weapons. 3: He's a wellspring of witty one-liners. I can't say enough about how cool Mckay was in this movie. His character wreaks major havoc on zombie skull! There's enough intestinal spillage and brain splattering to make George Romero proud.
What I like most about 'Undead' was it's unorthodox approach to the zombie film. Zombie films have a small group of people from different demographics that band together to stay alive. That group of people finds a safe haven- lock and load, kick some ass, then realize they have to leave their fortress and relocate (usually under the guise of 'finding help'). You get close to the characters- then one by one they get infected with zombie juice and end up craving gray matter instead of pizza. Ok, that's the typical zombie flick; 'Undead' had that- but there was so much more. The comic relief was fun without bursting the horror core of the film. Where this movie seperated from the zombie mold was it's bizarre affiliation with an alien takeover. The alien aspect of the film was purposefully vague without feeling like a cop-out. The duel layer approach reminded me of 'From Dusk 'Till Dawn'. The first half of 'Undead' mimicked the stereotypical zombie storyline, albeit executed better than most of the other brain-eater flicks. The second half is where you begin to realize that you truly don't know what's going to happen. It's very rare that you can find a horror movie- especially a zombie movie- that doesn't spell out the ending thirty minutes into the action. 'Undead' meanders, then leaps away from the norm halfway through, and never looks back! I get excited when I see something different. So many producers and directors piggy-back previous successes with remakes and pseudo-remakes that it's nice to just see something totally off the wall strange. I had a really good time with this one! OJO gives it two paws way up!
Friday, July 21, 2006
This Is, Uh, Sort Of, Uh, A Blog
If this 'Newsflash' doesn't resonate with you, it's because you haven't subjected yourself to enough actor/director interviews, or listened to enough director commentaries. Seriously, take the OJO challenge- the next time you listen to an actor or director interview, or watch a DVD director commentary, and that actor or director can go an entire 10 minutes without using the terms previously mentioned then I'll give you double the money you just spent reading this post.
Monday, July 17, 2006
I was inspired by 'Superman Returns' to see another movie with Goddess Parker Posey. I rented 'Frankenstein', despite having read several awful reviews of the film. I was pleasantly surprised. Victor Helios (Thomas Kretschmann) is a 200 year old mad scientist. He is the surgeon that the 'Frankenstein' myth is based upon. The story follows Helios' first creation, Deucalion (Vincent Perez), on his quest to destroy his creator. Detective Carson O'Connor (Parker Posey) and Detective Michael Sloane (Adam Goldberg) are investigating a serial killer who is cutting out various organs of his victims. Eventually, the detectives form a tentative partnership with Deucalion when it appears that Helios, or one of his creations, is behind the mysterious murders.
I thought the acting was superb, in fact, without Posey, Goldberg, and Michael Madsen's performance, this movie would have seemed cheap. It could have been a disaster, along the lines of a low-budget TV cousin of 'The Island of Dr. Moreau'. Nispel kept the plot tight and focused, allowing the actors to stay on course. This film could have meandered into global domination by Helios and his monsters- instead the story only suggested that Helios was capable of creating enough monsters to do this, and left it at that. That probably saved this film. I'm not suggesting that Frankenstein was great- but it maintains a fresh perspective on a popular horror legend, without trying to overshadow that legend. If you're a fan of horror this deserves a view, but don't expect it to blow you away.
GURPS Quote of the Week
TimeCorp Agent Clint Bradshaw matter-of-factly states, "Fine. We'll try your group meditation, and if that doesn't work, we start settin' fires."
Saturday, July 15, 2006
I saw 'Superman Returns' today with my little cousin. I don't really feel like doing a full review. Truthfully, I don't feel like I could give an encompassing review of the film because I never read the comics. When it comes to movie reviews involving comic adaptations the reviewer should know some background of the story. I didn't start reading comics until Vertigo's 'The Preacher' and 'Sandman', so supes is out of my realm. That being said, I had a really good time with this movie. Kevin Spacey was an outstanding villain! There was an amusing chemistry between Spacey and Posey's characters. Don't get me started on Parker Posey- she is one of only two actresses that I find absolutely-beyond-anything-I've-ever-seen-or-heard-of-gorgeous (the other being Fairuza Balk). Anyway, great movie, highly recommended.
Thursday, July 13, 2006
Dune Prequels by Brian Herbert and Kevin J. Anderson
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Let me start by reiterating my loathing for Hollywood's obsession with remakes. I refuse to spend money on any more junk remakes, which is why I haven't seen this movie until tonight. My aunt had a burned copy of 'The Hills Have Eyes', and I thought I might as well get it over with and see it. It definately lived down to my expectations. There is nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing redeemable about this picture. The only thing worth seeing is the footage of atomic explosions during the opening credits. It's not that the acting or dialogue was bad, it's just that the poor actors had nothing to work with. The plot was scattered and lacked purpose. Wes Craven has only made three good movies in his entire career- Last House on the Left, A Nightmare on Elm Street, and The Hills Have Eyes. It's too bad that one of them has been marred because of it's affiliation with this poorly executed remake. The hills may have eyes, but I suggest using your eyes to watch anything other than this flick.
Monday, July 10, 2006
The Texas Rangers contacted me recently about a possible tryout for one of their farm teams. They've been scouting 'ole OJO, and like his range and agility at the shortstop position. There are some minor concerns about his arm strength. After seeing the way he hits, and the speed at which he rounds the bags, they said the Ranger's organization would be crazy to pass him up. Within three years we could be looking at a strong back-up to Michael Young, as well as an infield utility 'man'. Attaboy OJO, that'a kid!
Trashcan Odorous Jr
Odorous Jr's Top Ten Horror Movies
Odorous Jr's Top Ten Sci-Fi Movies
Odorous Jr's List of 'Laughs on Call'
30 Days of Night
Aliens vs Predator: Requiem
Black Christmas 2006
The Chronicles of Easter
The Chronicles of Riddick: Dark Fury
The Hills Have Eyes
Nightwatch (Nochnoy Dozor)
Slave Girls From Beyond Infinity
Snakes On A Plane
Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama
Spooked: The Ghosts of Waverly Hills Sanatorium
X-Files: I Want To Believe
Saturday, July 08, 2006
Muad'Dib Family Commentaries by Princess Irulan
The Reverend Mother must combine the seductive wiles of a courtesan with the untouchable majesty of a virgin goddess, holding these attributes in tension so long as the powers of her youth endure. For when youth and beauty have gone, she will find that the place-between, once occupied by tension, has become a wellspring of cunning and resourcefulness.
-from Dune by Frank Herbert
Friday, July 07, 2006
The Caves of Steel by Isaac Asimov
Thursday, July 06, 2006
There is no stopping the 'bad movie' spree that I'm on! You'll know I've hit rock bottom when I review Britney Spears' movie (Crossroads?). I'll make this quick and painless. The plot to 'Evil Toons' is irrelevant. The only thing that even makes this movie relevant is the never ending slew of topless babes. This movie is a 'Victoria Secret' slumber party with demon possession. End of review.
Monday, July 03, 2006
I'm officially on a B-movie kick! With so many movies out there that take themselves way too seriously, it's nice to just sit back and watch some old-fashioned B-budget skinema. This one starts out with two slave girls that escape from their prison cells, and board one of their captor's spaceships. Fortunately these spaceships are user friendly, and the bikini clothed slave-babes are quickly able to figure out the controls. Their new found freedom doesn't last long though, because they happen to crashland in the jungle of a planet ruled by Zen. Zen's forte is luring young ex-slavers in bikini's into his jungle palace, chaining them up, and turning them loose into the jungle to hunt for sport. This movie was so fast-paced that our young heroines never had the time to change out of their cloth bikini's. Of all the horrendous dialogue, my favorite exchange went something like this, "Oh, if only we had a knife". Her captive accomplice then pulls out a twelve inch switchblade and says, "you mean, something like this". "Perfect", she replies. Perfect indeed. This film also had bickering androids, laser crossbows, grotesque mutants, and did I mention skin? Fortunately I won't have to re-think my top ten sci-fi list after this one, but when I decide to put a top ten B-Movie skinema with bad dialogue list together- this will be number one.